Friday, October 12, 2012
Doctor Who in Flatland
Welcome to Doctor Who in Flatland, a world of only two dimensions. Only London and alien planets, terrestrial and extraterrestrial. In this world, there are no terrestrial cities other than London.
In this world, the two-dimensional time-traveling beings have no concept of other cities outside the London area, unless they are cities on alien planets.
These two-dimensional time-travelers have no understanding of Paris, Tokyo, Milan, Dubai, or of yours truly... from their 2-D perspective my finger looks something like this:
Hello Doctor Who.
Fear of the unknown, or should I say, not yet known.
It's a puzzle if we see only London; how does anyone ever see another city? The unknown city. How do we ever leave London?
"Don't be afraid," I said to Doctor Who and his companion, Rose.
"Who said that, where are you?" asked the two-dimensional time travelers.
"This is always the tricky part to explain...I'm in another city. In another space. I am 278 miles southeast of you, across the English Channel.
[Rose Tyler Screams!]
"Never, never use that word!" replies Rose, trepidatiously.
"What word?" I ask.
"The A-word," she explains timidly.
"It's forbidden by BBC."
"Well, what do you think it means?" I inquire.
"I don't know, and I don't want to know," explains Rose, defiantly.
"You can be severely punished if you use that word," she explains. "Are you a ghost?" she inquires.
"I hope not. I just live in a different city than you do. I can see things from a direction you can't, yet."
"Oh yeah? Like what?" she asks in an indignant tone.
(Contemplating my answer...) "Well, okay, you have a console room in the middle of your Tardis, inside it you use mercury, a rare ore named Zeiton 7, a trachoid time crystal, and artron energy, a temporal energy generated by the Time Lord minds."
"How'd you' know that!" exclaims Rose. "Are you, are you a god?"
(Chuckling...) "Well, not any more than you," I explain. "You see, since I am across the Channel from you [Rose screeches!] ... ha, ha, ha, watching Doctor Who on television, I can see things inside your Tardis."
"Across the channel on television? You are a crazy ghost. There's only two dimensions, alien ones and London:
"So, if I were to touch the inside of your Tardis, how would I do that?"
"You'd have to cut through the door. Otherwise it's impossible," explains Rose.
"Ready for more?" I ask.
"More what?" Rose asks.
"Dimensions. Cities," I suggest.
"Yes. No. Yes. But there aren't any...more [more, more, more]," she explains. "What will happen to me? In what city will we land?"
"You have to land in another city to know..."
Doctor Who in Flatland