Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Top 10 Occupy Posts

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A Homeschooling Comedy of Errors and Adventures

There are NO tests on the Road Less Traveled


I am a globetrotting, homeschooling mother of two teenagers, ages 13 and 16. I manage households in three countries and in addition to our two cats and dog, we recently acquired a new puppy to serve as future hubby for our beautiful Ms. Fia. Naturally, she want's nothing to do with him. 

In addition to my 16-hour daily lifestyle, I recently took up blogging, for which I get up 2 hours early each day - and the clincher, I joined Facebook - at this point I have to schedule my "thinking" sessions because I run on pure automatic pilot. 

The other day, I considered starting an Overcommitters Anonymous group, we meet next Wednesday between Music Theory and Plan Dinner & Entertainment Before Evening Work Activities, which of course leads to the final hour of enjoying Mindless TV viewing.

I regret to inform you that I may have to reschedule the Overcommitters Anonymous Welcome to the Group Meeting as I just received a courtesy text message reminding me that I have a hair appointment at that time. I'll have to have my secretary get back to you as to when I can reschedule or whether I will have to send someone else in my place. 


With my brain about to explode, I have taken it upon myself to homeschool two highly gifted students. Today, they are enrolled in a University-based Young Scholar's Program for which I pay the equivalent University fee per course as well as take it upon myself to deliver each course to eager young minds. 

My children regret to inform you that they cannot make it to the Overcommitters Anonymous Welcome to the Group Meeting. My daughter stated that due to the fact that she is presently enrolled in 9 courses, studying for her high school exit exam, teaching Pre-Algebra to her younger brother, blogging, drawing, and creating logos, videos, and original works of art for private companies that she regrettably cannot attend. 

My son stated that due to the fact that he is presently enrolled in 7 courses at the University, busy blogging and creating videos for his budding film company, and because he is at present, working on a piece to enter into a film festival, that he cannot attend. Please email him upcoming dates and he will get back to us with written confirmation as to when he can attend in the future. 

Paperwork, accounts, accountants, CPA's, colleagues, employees, contractors for three countries. I'm tired merely thinking about the pertinent details of my life, sans the work involved in executing these tasks. 

I quit! 
I am simplifying! 

I recently scheduled a week-long "thinking" session for myself. The children have been taking non-stop tests, drawing, writing, and enjoying their photography hobby while I analyze the Theory of Simplification. 

Wholeheartedly embracing this theory, I "thought" for two days, then rested two days, then began processing the pile of tasks on my To-Do List. Within a week, there will be double the tasks if I do not hold an Overcommitters Intervention for myself. 

Did I mention that I have been analyzing Educational Reform since 2008 and have designed a new educational model for my children. I filed our Private School Affidavit this week and am preparing files from the university, the kids' school in Paris, and all their test scores for transfer to our new school. 

Soon we will be free! 
Free of a few of the RIDICULOUS mindsets & systems that slow us down! 

If we ever get off the Road Less Traveled there will be nothing but tests to greet us, tests for which they can study for later if they want to leave this road. For now, we're not on a hurry. The final destination isn't all that exciting, it's the road where you find your greatest adventures.  


Why take tests for someone else's road?


If you're on the Road Less Traveled, quit looking back 

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Clean Jokes

Three boys were walking home from Sunday school after a very impassioned sermon on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"  

The other boy replied. "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just Dad." 

Attending her very first wedding, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" The mother replied, "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." 

The little girl thought about this for a moment and then said, "So, why is the groom wearing black?" 

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could to Sunday school. As she ran, she prayed, "Dear God!  Please don't let me be late to Sunday school, again!" 

No sooner did she pray did she trip on a curb and fall. As she stood up, brushed herself off, and picked up her bible, she prayed once more: "Hi God, me again. Thanks for the help, next time, please don't push!" 

One morning out on the playground some boys were bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." 

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." 

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money." 

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead." 

A police recruit was asked during an exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"  He answered, "Call for backup."  

A Sunday school teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem... a small child replied, "Probably because they couldn't get a babysitter." 

Work Humor


Alexander Bain's fax machines are nearing extinction, but for those who still insist upon scanning documents with a telecopier, you may appreciate the following true story. 

This morning I vowed to get some paperwork done. One of those tasks was sending my extremely patient and congenial CPA some tax documents. Rather than gathering all my documents and submitting them in one easy, convenient package for her review, I, instead, fax, email, and snail mail them to her piece by piece. 

Today, a cringe of guilt hit me over not having a fax cover sheet to accompany the tax statements I sent over, unsolicited and without explanation. I vowed to add "Create Fax Cover Sheet" to my To-Do List and hoped that the acknowledgement of my "Fax Faux Pas" would keep me in her good graces. 

Immediately thereafter, I found myself with a few extra minutes to spare and decided to go ahead and create a Fax Cover Sheet. My traditional dull, unimaginative, plain-vanilla dullsville document was transformed into this: 

Incorporating humor into the workplace doesn't need to be overly outlandish to serve as a tool to lighten-up an awkward moment (eg., when out of exhaustion, denial, or sheer laziness we fail to follow through in a timely fashion). 

The next time you find yourself avoiding a work task or chore, ask yourself if you can come up with a humorous spin - that might just be the hurdle you need to avoid procrastinating on dealing with a work issue and your colleagues will thank you for it! 

Sophy's Humor Program

Sophy's Humor Program

#1: Start off on a Funny Foot

It's important to get your participants' attention from the moment they walk through the door. Welcoming guests on a funny note allows them to laugh, smile, or chuckle while they settle into the room. Staging funny props that can be encountered as one visually scans the room gets participants' initial attention while allowing those who are less than willing "laughters" to encounter "funny" on their own terms and at their own pace. These props can also be referenced later on in your training session. 

Funny props sets your program off on a high note and relieves nervous tension participants might be experiencing about their own sense of humor (or lack thereof) while clearly conveying the message, "We're here to have some fun!" 

#2: Generic Funnisms

Even the most meticulously planned events can experience some hiccups. Having a number of prepared jokes to defuse unexpected situations or speaker faux pas' allows attendees to laugh spontaneously. In comedy, timing is everything. 

#3: Include Participants

Each conference group has them - funny people who steal the crowd's attention with a witty or cleverly delivered remark that gets the crowd roaring. This is exactly what you want! Set the stage for increased group laughter by planning activities (such as improv or other team building games) that allow people to move about, laugh, and joke more freely. Laughter brings people closer together, which in turn encourages people to participate. The activity is effortless when your audience is engaged, laughing, smiling, and enjoying the overall experience. 

Humor programs will become a recognized profession when jokes are made about the practitioners...

Monday, February 27, 2012

Russian Jokes

Much of the humor value in Russian jokes is critically dependent on untranslatable features of the Russian language (linguistic puns, wordplay, and Russian's vocabulary of foul language). 

"SS men blocked all exits from the building. "Idiots," Stierlitz thought and went out through the entrance." 

Russians specialize in a type of ethnic humor that is both anti-disparaging and self-glorifying simultaneously, whereas American jokes are highly cyclical.

Utilizing themselves as part of the superiority claim of the originating script, Russians, much like their British, German, and French neighbors ...naturally preside over all. 

...the British are empire-builders, the Germans are pedantic and methodical, the French are womanizers, the Americans are profit-oriented businessmen, the Russians have first claim to all things and phenomena...


Students of different nationalities were asked to write an essay about elephants. The Englishman wrote an essay entitled, "The role of the elephant in the building of the British Empire." 

The German wrote "the historical survey of the elephant as a species from its beginnings to the present." 

The French essay was called "The elephant and the woman." 

The American student turned in "On cost-efficient uses of the elephant." 

The Jewish student's theme was "The elephant and anti-Semitism." 

And the Russian author entitled his composition "The Soviet Union as the Fatherland of the elephant".

In Russia, we Russian. 
Nuff said.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Errands - The Magazine For the Errand's Life Style

Errands are short, quick trips aimed at accomplishing a specific purpose, such as to buy something, deliver a package, pick-up dry cleaning, or convey a message. 

There's an art to running errands and at ERRANDS we're the best! 

It's difficult to be in two places at once. Who wants to pay bills? I surely do not. Who wants to wait around all afternoon for the cable company? Not me! What about wrap all those gifts at Christmas time? Forget it!  If you, like me, do not enjoy going to the Post Office, having your Oil Changed, making dinner reservations, or going to the florist, simply CALL US TODAY and hire a Personal Errand Assistant! 

A Personal Errand Assistant is often times your best bet for getting all those things done in time to enjoy what's left of the weekend. Rather than rushing around all day Saturday and Sunday to get your Errands done, simply click on our ERRANDS SERVICE TAB and discover how much more energie and time you'll have for yourself, your family, and your friends! 


New Errands You Never Considered

Errands Around the World

Things to Do Before You Run Errands
(a checklist)


Plus lots, lots more!