Friday, August 30, 2013

European Threat Alerts by John Cleese


The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Once "sort of English" Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right mate". Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

Regards,

John Cleese ,
British writer, actor and tall person




Joy and Laughter in the Bible

It is a common misconception that there are no references to humorous concepts or laughter in the Bible. Here are a few passages that indicate otherwise...


Proverbs 17:22
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.



Psalm 126:2
Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.”



Job 8:21
He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting.



Ecclesiastes 3:4
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.



Psalm 2.4
He who sits in the heavens laughs



Proverbs 15:13
A glad heart makes a cheerful face



Psalm 32:11
...shout for joy, all you upright in heart.



Genesis 21:6
And Sarah said, “God has made laughter for me; everyone who hears will laugh over me.”

Abraham, Sarah and the Angel, 1520
Jan Provost


Proverbs 14:13
Even in laughter the heart may ache



Genesis 17:17
Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed and said to himself, “Shall a child be born to a man who is a hundred years old? Shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?”



Ephesians 5:4
Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.



Psalm 16:11
...in your presence there is fullness of joy; 
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.



Psalm 4:7
You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound.



Psalm 37:13
But the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he sees that his day is coming.



Job 12:4
I am a laughingstock to my friends; 
I, who called to God and he answered me



Romans 12:9
Let love be genuine....hold fast to what is good.



Ecclesiastes 7:3
Sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of face the heart is made glad.
Whoever channeled this bit of advice 
might want to "rethink" this theory, 
but I think I get it: 
compassion fills people with hope



Colossians 4:6
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
What an incredible speech from a seemingly unlikely source.
Goes to show how much heart goes into humor.



Zephaniah 3:17
...he will exult over you with loud singing
I cannot sing worth a bean, but I sure love it! 



Psalm 47:1
Clap your hands, all peoples! 
Shout to God with loud songs of joy!




Psalm 43:4
I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God.

Amphion and the Naiads Playing the Lyre, 1817
Louise Élisabeth Vigée Le Brun
Private Collection



James 5:13
Is anyone cheerful? 
Let him sing praise.



Philippians 4:4
Rejoice.



Luke 6:45
The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.





1 Kings 18:27
Either he is musing, or he is relieving himself, or he is on a journey, or perhaps he is asleep and must be awakened.”







Irrespective of one's religious (or nonreligious) beliefs, joy and laughter in the Bible and other wisdom writings sit side by side with tales of agony, pain, and heartbreak. Be it God's world, or be it ours, laughter and joy are most certainly fruit in the garden of life. 















Drawing Jokes


Cartoon humor is essentially a "drawn joke."  Cartoons represent a pictorial aspect of a joke with its symbolic nature - both are necessary to make the cartoon funny. 

©Robert Thaves was the creator of the comic strip 'Frank and Ernest'


In the field of humor research, there are few studies focusing entirely on cartoons; the majority of the research focuses on the verbal or psychological aspects of humor. Typically, scholars in the field of humor utilize the cartoon as a visual reminder of the why the subject is interesting in the first place or to break up complex or analytical text (i.e., humor's foil). 


RR Behrens (1977) stated that "visual wit" wasn't visual: Cartoon drawings and comic strips are considered verbal humor embellished with a picture, and the pictures by themselves as not humorous. Obviously, as in the case of the cartoon below, this definition overlooks purely pictorial cartoons that have or need no verbal elements to make them funny. 

Transmutation of Energie II

Transmutation of Energie II


The conclusion I have made with respect to energetic interactions is that all energie works in a harmonious fashion to maintain an energetic stasis. After interactions cease, energie continues to react just enough to compensate for the loss or gain of energie following an energetic interaction. 



            It is as if energie has a memory. After any given perturbation or deviation in the course of an energetic body by the attraction or repulsion of a neighboring body, energie returns to a fixed level or state. Perhaps this is not so strange. The physical configurations of energie must somehow be formed as a result of a special configuration of highly active, densely packed matter. Until energetic transference occurs to the point of equilibrium, the configuration of energie as well as its trajectory remains constant. It stays this way until a compensatory energetic interaction occurs, allowing the energetic configuration to return to its original state. This process appears to continue despite the many changes of form that occur. To better understand this phenomenon you can look to a chemical wood fire. If you douse a roaring fire with water, but leave a few embers remaining, after a while, the wood will start burning again and return to its former level of activity. Electrochemists refer to this self-heat as “heat-after-death.”



            I have observed anomalies in how energie reconstitutes itself, but without instruments to measure these anomalies, I cannot provide any explanation for why they occur. I merely point them out in the event some hipster scientist of the future thinks it was "cool" that somebody (anybody) "saw" them without the aide of instruments.

Until sitting down to write this opus, it did not occur to me to keep a log of when these anomalies occurred. However, I do recognize the value of documentation, and will begin making drawings of the shapes and positions of the energies I observe. In the event I observe an anomaly, I will try to record it in my drawings. In the meantime, here are some pretty drawings of energie (recognizing that "pretty" is a relative term). 











            Seeing energie is not a particularly profound or outstanding experience. It is like being forced to read the instruction manual for your iPhone instead of just jumping in there and playing around with it; discovering as you go. In this respect, interactions fail to surprise me. As a child, I began purposely not paying attention or attentively focusing my energie onto neighboring objects so that I could enjoy the sensation of a seemingly spontaneous event with other individuals. This contributed to my not paying attention to details, a habit of mind that does not always benefit me professionally. My proclivity to instantly recognize patterns has increased over the years to the point that I recognize intentions prior to the release of the energie that accompanies them. 



            The order of operations for reading energie is as follows: (1) There is movement; (2) Movement is visible; (3) Patterns are recognized; (4) Compare/contrast analyses take place; (5) New energetic releases, i.e., patterns, are processed via internal changes in one's own energetic configuration.

            I do not consider the ability to recognize energetic patterns and releases as some sort of preternatural ability. The reason I say this is that others constantly react to the same energetic patterns I believe I am "seeing". 



            Sensing is higher function than seeing. Once an individual relaxes a bit (colloquial term), they can train themselves, should they so desire, to see energie. I cannot explain why or what happened to cause me to “see” energie without massive meditation (though I used to run for meditation) or some sort of guru-like training, but I do believe this "ability" could taught... even under the "auspices" of surreal-like humor.



            Observing the movement of particles, I have noticed that when very little activity is going on in the room or with a person, the more active particles behave. When an individual is engaged in higher activity levels, the neighboring particles compress. Sometimes there is more particle movement in a room than movement associated with the material objects occupying the space.


            While particles are reactionary,
 they do not always seem to react instantaneously.


            Imagine, if you will, a bundle of particles separate but in close proximity, vibrating in harmonious patterns like the component parts of a symphony.  The particles surrounding the particle that receives and transmits waves seem to act like buffers. You have to navigate and adjust your energetic pattern to match the other combinations you encounter.  I do this both consciously and subconsciously, but it appears that others do it, too, even if they are not consciously aware of it.

I see adjustments happening before my eyes with people as they interact together or with me. I even see changes as their thought waves as they waver from topic to topic (it is actually kind of pretty and I think similar to the sensation others claim when seeing a rainbow; since I am colorblind I am not certain if I see it or feel it in the same way, but I feel the energie other express when they talk about it).

Certain topics emit specific energetic patterns. While I cannot “read” other peoples’ private thoughts (it's bad enough feeling the result of what they're thinking), I can see the patterns that emerge. If I know the individual, personally, I can fill in many of the missing gaps, so much so that it has caused people to ask me straight out what was going on. Having been full of school spirit, I can usually CHEER my way out of it by offering an entertaining explanation. I think it is from this compensatory tendency where my inner humorist arose.



            Perhaps energetic interactions are self-evident in the sense that our universe is an active, vibrant, pulsating combination of bits and pieces that are in constant movement.

            Seeing energie has allowed me to minimize some (and by some I mean a considerable amount) of the effort I put forth to harmonize my energetic configuration with my surroundings. Given that I do not work overly hard to stay in balance, I invest this surplus of energie in exploring new concepts - or rather, new energetic patterns. Under the auspices of humor, I enjoy mixing up divergent concepts in order to observe new patterns. This is where I find my novelty.  Like others, my brain reacts positively to novelty.

Novelty is, from what I can tell, just a change in pattern. But like they say, Change is Good! .. and inevitable (except from a vending machine). 



            I have long since been a person who is brimming with new ideas. Perhaps it is just me or perhaps it is a reaction to all the energetic movement and patterns I see; whatever the reason, I feel as if I have to create new “things” in order to slow down the internal vibrations. When I give these vibrations form and structure, their release from my mechanism minimizes the tension that arises from holding onto too many particles. 



            I believe we all seek harmony, even those people who claim they seek discord. I have observed people like this, and in reality, what they seem to be doing energetically is merely making adjustments in their environment to create more harmony in themselves; whereas people with higher vibrations seem to make more energetic adjustments within their own personhood or energetic configuration to match or elevate their external environment.

          When individuals with lower energie levels behave in a manner that most would consider morally “wrong”, energetically speaking, it is actually their behaving in a manner that harmonizes their energies to the variance they experience between themselves and their environment. The variance comes from the difference in energie levels. This isn't always pretty, as they say, but it is understandable. Essentially, the lower one's energie level, the more work required to harmonize with external energies. Of course, the same could be said for someone with higher vibrations who chooses to interact in environments of lower or scattered energie. This is extremely uncomfortable, but it is akin to charity and sacrifice. When one lowers their energie, it feels like a sacrifice because the energie is being released instead of given (shape or form).

While I appreciate the perspective of those people believe this is akin to "doing good", I believe it is a higher form of appreciation for all life when we create things that help others rather than going around trying to do so with this distinct aim. This isn't to say that coming upon an energie in need doesn't trigger an automatic sharing mechanism, but using this sharing mechanism to relate to others exhausts the person of their energie and contributes to the heaviness of the energetic exchanges being experienced. When your natural energetic configuration is vibrating high, it lightens. It is from here that I prefer to interact with others. The mere experience raises everyone's vibrations smoothing out the frequencies from which we interact and communicate.




           Lower energie configurations held in larger vessels are challenging to observe and energetic draining to interact with. So much so, that it can result in a host of physical and mental ailments such as anxiety, sickness, and even death (from losing too many particles). A potential "fix" might be some sort of treatment whereby a device is constructed to project higher frequency energie toward these individuals. Whether or not these particles would remain is unknown. I say this because individuals with lower energie resonating levels actively pull energie from their environment. From my vantage point, this energie they pull inward only seems to remain temporarily (unless it is highly charged, creating a new exchange, the remnants of which remain).

Essentially, the particles they pull from their environment do not remain fixed. This is what I presume compels these individuals to behave in a manner that is consistent with their continually  pulling energie from their environment (others included therein). 



            In reality, varying levels of this type of energie pulling are common; even intellectually, emotionally, physically, or metaphysically gifted individuals share this characteristic. I, too, have struggled with alignment since I was very young. I suppose this is where seeing energie is a benefit. It does not mean that I do not have to do the same work as others to stay in balance or to remain in a state of harmonic resonance with my environment, but it does serve as a constant barometer against which I seem to be able to make faster adjustments. So when I do go out of balance, I can quickly adjust.

Old-School Energie Accelerator




            For a period of ten years (2002 to 2012), I felt a strong desire to “help” others. Rather than doing so from a distance, I jumped right in there. This frontline approach proved detrimental to my own energetic configuration. By the end of 2005, this behavior ended abruptly with a serious physical accident. Accidents are no accidents. In reality, they are the violent convergence of opposing energie strands.



            After the accident, my energie was more susceptible to aberrations, and a downward spiral ensued until I sat down and took a very close look at all the energie surrounding me, including that which I was projecting. I also observed that I was expelling a number of divergent energie patterns. In reality, I have no blueprint upon which to base any of my thoughts or actions, but I started making adjustments in how I processed and reacted to the surrounding energie particles in my environment.

          Slowly, this resulted in a physical recovery from what one might call “illness”. Recognizing that this might be a slow process, I decided to try to bump up my own energetic treatment. Searching for complete patterns, which are found in many sources, including positive thoughts, words, and actions, I began surrounding myself with these highly charged energetic particles.

          I believe this sped up my ability to reconstitute the energetic configuration I had before, which I would describe as one that vibrated intensely high. Fortunately for me, this level of vibratory expression does not happen continuously; if it did, it would be difficult to maintain my physical state without constant meditation and vigilance. Since I don't have time to completely and utterly indulge myself in that sort of activity and since I truly enjoy interacting with others from an insatiable intellectual curiosity about the nature of being, I prefer to forego what might energetically feel like perfect harmony for the simple pleasure of "being" in the world. I am happy just being or existing as Descartes might have said. It is one thing to read another's words, it is an entirely different level of experience to interact with them. Just as I would prefer to converse directly with Descartes, so too do I prefer to interact with others rather than indulge myself in meditative activities, even if those activities lift the energie levels of others who are in their presence. I like to think this is because I genuinely "like" people, but it the thought does cross my mind that I'm just not that evolved yet. LOL :D




            The more harmonious one’s energetic configuration, the less passionate the individual. This state appears to be one in which the individual simply wishes to do that which allows them to remain in harmony.

          On a practical level, this includes a variety of thoughts and actions, including regular exercise (without the burning desire to achieve physical perfection), a healthy but less heavy diet, harmonious perception of all interactions with others (even if only in one’s own mind), and creative expression (but not over-indulgence).

          I often times laugh with my daughter about so-called “perfect people” saying that they are the first character to get "bumped off" of a movie or television show. In this respect, it seems like it might be important to have a little drama or conflict if one wishes to remain in an active state.

          Unfortunately, once you get this down (or at least feel like you've got a handle on things), the body starts what appears to aesthetics as a downward descent in preparation for physical transformation. The second half of our lives is the one that prepares us for a significantly divergent energetic configuration.

          Like any normal person, I don't like aging, but rather than trying to control the next state, I am devising ways to experiment with how I will arrive to it.



            I thrive on the outpouring of information available in the world. As more patterns open to my conscious mind, the sense of wonder and discovery feels very rewarding. I do not waste time moping around or worrying about challenges I encounter. I teach, encourage, read, explore, think, draw, write, work, travel, interact, and sit in both wonderment and observation; it is as if the convergence of events has resulted in my coming into myself in a way that is far more cognizant than ever. While I have long since had this “seeing” ability, I did not have at my disposal the ability to recognize as many patterns as I do today; nor did I have the emotional or verbal maturity to express the sensations without artistic embellishment. 

The Wounded Angel (1903)
Hugo Simberg (1873 - 1917)
Helsinki, Sweden; Ahlström Collection