A Doggie's Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,

I laid flat on my tummy, on the armrest of the couch.

The children dressed me up like a clown, they didn't seem to care

that all the dogs in the street, would laugh and bark and stare; 

The adults didn't care, they had YouTube in their heads

Thinking I'd be an Internet sensation, before anyone went to bed;

And Mama with her video camera, and I in her lap,

Feeling ridiculous as ever - I decided to take a nap -

When outside the gate, there arose such a clatter,

I sprang to the window to see what was the matter. 

Away to the window I bounced like a flash,

Growling and barking, and ripping off my pink satin sash. 

A Husky was walking down our street, leaving paw prints in the snow,

Who does he think he is? It's time to make my presence known!

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature Chihuahua sporting a sweater with little tiny reindeer,

With a little old lady, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment, these sweaters were somebody's idea of a trick.

To dress up us dogs, like they decorate the tree,

Stuffing our tails into trousers so we can't even pee.

We endure it; we sit up, roll over, and lay down,

In the hopes that they don't walk us all around the town.

Bulldogs, Dachshunds, Yorkies, and mutts,

You should know right now, there's no escaping holiday dress up.

Little humans will dress you in sweaters and hats,

And smile and giggle, and parade you in front of the cat.

The cat doesn't care, he's been dressed up, too,

In fact he looks pretty good, all dressed up in blue.

But he's not happy either, he's actually beside himself,

Cause now little brother dressed him up like one of Santa's elves.

I don't mind, cause they dressed me up really quick,

If I had to be anything, I guess I'm grateful it's Saint Nick.

But just you wait, for my Master I'll leave quite a rose,

Just not the kind you'll want to smell with your nose.

I'll fill up the stockings, when everyone's out of sight,

With a present of my own, in the middle of the night. 

We'll see if they dress me up again, come next December,

For this will be a Christmas, we'll both remember...

*No dogs were humiliated in the making of this post.