Monday, January 30, 2012
Dear 3 am,
We have to stop meeting this way. I realize you are often times troubled in the night, but keeping me awake will not solve your problems.
Seriously now, this is all about mind over mattress.
If I wanted to become an insomniac I would pick up the hobby of worrying or ask to be adopted by a family of worriers.
Or, as a Vegan, I count count count jumping tofu.
In fact, I could take it a step further and cultivate my neuroses. As a dedicated insomniac, I could work on this throughout the day by reading my local crime statistics, picking up my favorite medical journal, or download Stephen King movies onto my laptop.
Better yet, I could eat late at night, drink vast quantities of fluid shortly before retiring, and get plenty of aerobic exercise right before bed.
If I wanted to, I could really shake things up by going to bed at a different time every night, swap my soothing sound machine for a snoring machine, and turn up the volume on my cell phone in case someone pocket dials me at 3 am.
Like I said, we have to stop meeting like this.
I've got to get some sleep now...