Tuesday, June 7, 2011

12 Months of Jokes

There are jokes everywhere we look, begging to be noticed. If you're looking for a laugh, a world calendar is an excellent alternative to a book of jokes. In our busy, distracted, even conflicted lives, brevity is the soul of wit (Shakespeare's Hamlet II.ii.90), so without further ado...

January 30th: National Inane Answering Message Day

A day to end those numerous, annoying, inane answering machine messages. Best reported remedy: Caller ID.


February 22nd: International World Thinking Day

The original objective of this day was to get girls thinking...here's what girls reportedly think of boys: 




March 13th: Ear Muff Day 

Big-eared Chester Greenwood is the father of the Earmuff; patenting his "Champion Ear Protector" invention on March 13, 1877. Warning: Not for use during bank robberies: 



April 15th: Rubber Eraser Day 


Joseph Priestley discovered the eraser in 1770, using pieces of rubber imported from Brazil. Then in 1858, Hyman Lipman of Philadelphia patented the pencil with an eraser at the end. Make no mistake about it, Rubber Eraser day is widely celebrated by political campaigns all over the world: 


May 6th: International No Diet Day (Slogan: "Just say YES to food!")

Mary Evans Young, the director of the British group "Diet Breakers," created this day after having personally experienced anorexia. So, the next time you sit down to a plate of greasy, fried chicken, just tell curious onlookers that you're supporting an anti-diet movement: 

 
June 23rd: Take Your Dog To Work Day 

They say that "Every dog has it's day" - well, that day is June 23rd. 

 

July 17th - Yellow Pig Day

Two students from Princeton University studying mathematics, Michael Spivak and David C. Kelly, in the 1960s (need I say more?) associated properties of the number 17 with a yellow pig who reportedly had 17 toes, 17 teeth, 17 eyelashes, etc.


 
August 16th - National Tell A Joke Day

Okay, I couldn't find the origin for this day, but I do plan to fully participate and enjoy it come August...


September 13th - Defy Superstition Day

Want to break those superstitious beliefs that have been plaguing you all your life? Celebrate Defy Superstition Day and party like it's 1999...


 For those of you paranoid about 2012: 


October 15th: White Cane Safety Day

On October 15, 1964, a Joint resolution of Congress passed legislation marking this day. President Lyndon Johnson recognized this white cane independence movement, which is now supported by the "Eye to Eye: Low Vision Support Group" 


November 21st: False Confession Day





December 23rd: Festivus: It's for the Rest of Us!



Seinfeld show scriptwriter, Daniel O'Keefe, created this holiday after his father reportedly found a reference to it having first been celebrated in 1966. 



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