Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Pacman Fever

Let's find out, shall we...


Watch this video



*Warning: There's a lame advertisement before the movie
Please be patient...


Pacman Fever


Pacman fever is a disease caused by the pacmangenic toxin (a bacterial pacotoxin) released by Pactococcus ghostenes. Once a major cause of quarter disappearance, it is now effectively treated with free downloads on sites such as Pac-Man Google, Flash Pacman, and my favorite, Free Pac-Man.  


The term pacmantina may be used interchangeably with Pacman fever, though it is most often used to indicate the less acute form of Pacman fever seen since the beginning of the 24 1/2 century.

Pacman fever was feared in the pre-digital era, as it was associated with the misconception made by lame adults regarding the entertainment activities of "hip" teenagers. The 1982 song, Pac-Man Fever recorded by Buckner & Garcia (the remix is above) was released as an LP, a cassette, an 8-track tape, and later completely re-recorded for CD release in 1999, and 2002. 


Epidemiology

This disease is most common in 8-22 year olds with males being more affected until after the emergence of Ms. Pacman, in which case both males and females became equally affected (see 1st video ending - the one all the way at the top of this post). By the age of 10 years most children have acquired protective antibodies that ward off the well-intended advice of their "not with it" parents and Pacman fever at this age becomes increasingly common. 


It is usually spread visually, by the watching of someone else playing the game, which you know you can play better. 

The incubation period is approximately one game to get you "hooked".




Microbiology

The disease itself is caused by the unbelievably addictive feeling one experiences while trying to gobble up those dots. Were it not for the ghosts, which act as inhibitors to the toxin, Pacman fever would hit the moment you grab onto the joystick



Symptoms and signs

  • Swollen eyes (from not blinking)
  • Blank staring (off into space, scanning for ghosts)
  • Memory loss (forgetting chores, like dumping garbage, doing homework, whatever)


Diagnosis

Diagnosis of Pacman fever is visual. The person with Pacman fever does not want to move away from the console. This person may resist suggestions to "turn the game off" or "take a break."  In advanced cases, this person may skip meals or in the extreme opposite, be surrounded by drinks, chips, and Ding Dongs, in an apparent attempt to not leave said gaming station. 



Complications

The complications of Pacman fever include acute Pacmanlonephritis, Pacmatic fever and Pacmanem. 

An association between Pacman fever and ADHD has been recognized for several decades. The mechanism of causation is not known. 



Clinical Notes

Swollen gamer eyes is the most striking sign of Pacman fever. It becomes recognizable when the person begins looking like they didn't sleep the night before. As the swollen eyes worsen, dark rings form underneath the eyes, giving the appearance of extreme exhaustion.

Psychics claim that the person's lifeforce is being "sucked right out of them" and that people who have too much exposure to electronics suffer from electronitis. No studies have yet been conducted to collaborate the validity of this claim. 



Treatment

Other than the occurrence of major complaining about the loss of said game console, the treatment and course of Pacman fever are no different from those of any gamer's disease.

In case of severe withdrawal, hold a HUGE POOL PARTY and continue EXTREME intervention methods until said person can come up with something better to do with their time. 



Note

An intervention-resistant strain of Pacman fever emerged when Ed Boon and John Tobias created Mortal Kombat, commonly abbreviated MK.

Rumors of MK's link to the Midway tribe indicate a common ancestor with the Pacmanin, a rumor which has floated around since the game was first released on arcade machine, though the move to home consoles is said to have displaced that myth. 




See also 














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