Thursday, December 29, 2011

A Little New Year's Resolution Analysis

I thought I'd conduct a little statistical analysis of historical data to determine what my chances of dying were this coming year as a way to decide just how seriously I should take my New Year's Resolutions. 

It's true, we have a 99.99% chance of dying, assuming we cannot transfer our consciousness via a quantum computer into a carbonnano mechanism without damaging the central processing unit that produces conscious thought. 

With that being said, and admittedly, there was a lot to the above statement, I went to the scientists at Carnegie Mellon to check their Death Risk Ratings data to see what I could find out. 

With my primary comparison being: Causes of Death, and my secondary comparison being: US to Europe; my personal search criteria showed this: 

Traveling between Mexico, the US, and Europe, I have to admit that we have really enjoyed being back in the states. Still, if I want to increase my life-expectancy odds, we might just consider returning to Paris in the spring. Weaving my way through traffic, I seem to have more fender benders in Paris, but stateside, I was literally run off the road by a fire truck, that incidentally, did not bother stopping when I hit the tree. When I spoke to the police department, the dispatcher told me: "Maybe he didn't see you." 

I said, "Yeah, you're probably right. My Navigator is a bit small." 

Thank goodness I was on my way to Hot Yoga and the heat felt great, minimizing any injury I might have otherwise sustained. Unfortunately, for me, I aggravated a spinal cord injury and have been out of Yoga nursing my shoulder and spine back to health for over a month.

Anyhow, I thought this was interesting. Not funny, haha, per se, but it made me giggle thinking that some serious health factors are actually higher in certain areas and that many of us have a choice as to what we do about it. It seems like we spend so much time thinking about death as a society, that we rarely allow ourselves to live. And the worst thing? We don't even get to talk about the event afterwards? We're totally removed from it. What a rip-off! I can't believe I wasted so much time in lecture halls and late-night study marathons thinking about it, only to turn around, die someday, and give everyone else, who hasn't died, the chance to tell me what it meant. No way! No wonder comedy arose from the ancient funeral rite. 

My epitaph is already written: She died laughing. Talk about engaging one's thoughts in heightened vitality, flexibility, inspiration, total freedom, delirious imagination, and an absolute colossal effervescence! It's like that song by Tim McGraw says, "I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying" ... he "went Rocky Mountain climbing, went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Foo Man Choo"...

For anyone really following this blog, this is my story.

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