Friday, September 11, 2026

How to be Creative







I have been thinking about creativity and what we actually mean when we tell someone to “be creative,” because it is one of those instructions that sounds perfectly sensible until you try to follow it. Be creative. Okay. Should I stare harder at the wall? Buy a beret? Rearrange my desk? Wait for inspiration to arrive by registered mail?

Creativity seems less like a special talent and more like the ability to move deliberately between two very different states of mind: open and closed. We need an open mind when we do not yet have a clearly defined purpose, because uncertainty gives us room to contemplate, wander, associate, notice, play, and entertain ideas that have absolutely no obligation to become useful. Then, once we know what we want to accomplish, we need to become considerably more closed-minded. We narrow the field, ignore competing possibilities, make choices, impose structure, and get the work done.

Neither mode is more creative than the other. Creativity happens somewhere in the movement between them.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

An idea.

An idea who?

I don’t know yet. That’s why I knocked.

That is roughly how open thinking works. Something appears and, instead of immediately demanding credentials, references, projected revenue, and a detailed explanation of why it deserves to occupy valuable cerebral real estate, we let it in for a minute.

Suppose I suddenly think, I should write a blog post about creativity. That thought does not yet need an outline. It certainly does not need twelve SEO headings and a graphic of a human brain with lightbulbs shooting out of it. At this point, I may not even know what I think about creativity. The idea simply interests me.

So I contemplate it.

Maybe creativity is curiosity. Maybe it is pattern recognition. Maybe creative people merely tolerate uncertainty for longer than other people. Maybe it depends on having enough unrelated information floating around in your head that occasionally two pieces collide. Maybe boredom is involved. Maybe walking helps. Maybe the whole thing is just the brain entertaining itself while pretending to work.

What do you call a brilliant idea with no practical application?

Tuesday.

The point is that during this stage, I do not have to decide. I can think about children making up games, mathematicians playing with impossible problems, scientists following anomalies, artists trying materials they have never used, somebody inventing a ridiculous sandwich at midnight, or why humans apparently looked at milk and eventually thought, You know what this needs? Mold.

Open thinking permits the useless thought.

That word, useless, deserves more respect. We live in a culture that is remarkably eager to ask what everything is for. What is this book for? What is this idea for? What is this conversation leading to? Can we monetize it? Can we measure it? Can we put it into a spreadsheet and make someone responsible for Q3?

Sometimes the answer should simply be: nothing yet.

How many creative people does it take to change a lightbulb?

Twenty-three.

One to change it and twenty-two to ask whether darkness might actually be an underexplored medium.

Open-mindedness is valuable precisely because we have not yet decided what counts as relevant. If we define the destination too early, we begin filtering information according to a conclusion we have already reached. We see what serves the plan and ignore everything else.

Sometimes that is exactly what we should do.

Just not yet.

When we are exploring an idea, wandering is productive because there is no penalty for taking the scenic route. I can begin thinking about creativity, somehow end up reading about octopus cognition, remember a conversation I had in Mexico fifteen years ago, wonder whether jokes themselves are small acts of creativity, go make coffee, notice something odd about the spoon, and return to the original question with a completely different idea.

This is not necessarily procrastination.

Sometimes it absolutely is.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Procrastination.

Procrastination who?

I’ll tell you tomorrow.

Eventually, however, I have to write the blog post.

At that moment the entire mental operation changes.

I now know what I want to say: creativity requires the ability to move between open and closed states of attention. Wonderful. Now stop wandering.

I do not need another theory of creativity. I do not need to investigate whether dolphins understand jazz. I do not need seventeen possible titles. I certainly do not need to reorganize the bookshelf because I suddenly believe the books will communicate more efficiently if arranged according to philosophical temperament.

Now I need to write.

This is where closed-mindedness earns its place in the hall of fame.

Once we have selected an outcome, creativity needs boundaries. We decide what belongs, what does not, which thought we are following, which thought we are abandoning, and what “finished” means. We reduce possibility intentionally because unlimited possibility is incompatible with completion.

How many writers does it take to finish a blog post?

Apparently nobody knows.

They’re still revising the opening paragraph or letting ai write it for them. 

Closure is not the enemy of creativity. Closure is how creativity becomes something other people can actually encounter.

Think about the difference between walking into a bookstore because you have forty minutes to kill and walking into a bookstore because you need a particular book. In the first case, there is absolutely no reason to proceed efficiently. You pick something up because the title is clever or the pages are beautifully painted (a trend I’m loving 🥰). That sends you somewhere else. You discover a subject you did not know existed. You read three pages standing in an aisle. You forget what time it is.

That is open mode.

Now imagine you are late for a meeting and somebody has asked you to bring a specific book.

You walk in, find it, pay, leave.

You do not need to develop a sudden scholarly interest in nineteenth-century mushroom illustration.

That is closed mode.

What do you call someone browsing a bookstore with no intention of buying anything?

Research.

What do you call someone browsing a bookstore when they have a deadline?

Dangerous.

The same distinction appears when we solve problems. If we are still figuring out what the problem actually is, opening the field is tremendously valuable. Ask strange questions. Reverse assumptions. Consider explanations that initially seem implausible. Follow the weird observation. Ask what would happen if some apparently fixed condition were changed.

“What if?” is one of the great opening devices of human thought.

What if buildings generated their own power?

What if waste were treated as feedstock?

What if computers could converse with us?

What if we put wheels on luggage?

The last one is particularly instructive because humans dragged suitcases around for an astonishingly long time before someone apparently noticed that civilization had already invented the wheel.

How many humans does it take to put wheels on a suitcase?

Millions.

But first we need several thousand years to think about it.

Once the problem becomes concrete, however, the questions change. If you are actually building the thing, “what if?” eventually has to give way to “how?”

How much does it cost? Does it work? What materials do we need? What happens when it fails? Who will use it? Can we manufacture it? Can we permit it? Does anyone actually want it, or have we simply become emotionally attached to a very expensive bad idea?

This is where closed thinking performs quality control.

Open thinking says, Suppose we could.

Closed thinking says, Show me.

Both are necessary.

One without the other produces very different kinds of failure. A person who remains permanently closed can become extremely competent at repeating established solutions. Give that person a well-defined problem and they may solve it beautifully, but they can have difficulty noticing that the problem itself has changed.

A person who remains permanently open has the opposite difficulty. Everything is fascinating. Everything connects to everything else. Every project produces six additional projects. Three notebooks become twelve notebooks. A blog post about creativity somehow becomes a theory of civilization, a proposed documentary, two patent applications, and a strong opinion about cephalopods.

What do you call a creative person with no deadlines?

Missing.

We therefore need both states, and we need to recognize which one we are in.

When I have a random idea for a blog post, I should stay open for a while. I should turn it around, contemplate it, follow whatever odd associations it produces, make jokes, contradict myself, and see whether the thought has enough substance to become something.

Then I should close.

Sit down.

Write the thing.

Open again when I reach a problem. Close when I find the solution. Open when something unexpected appears. Close when I have enough. Open while generating alternatives. Close while choosing among them.

Creativity is not endless freedom. It is a rhythm between possibility and constraint.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Another idea.

Another idea who?

No.

I’m finishing this one.


Love Yourself as a Basic Principle


Across social media platforms you’ll see “be kind to yourself” memes that pop up daily. I suggest that we take this a step further and “Try being in love with yourself as a matter of basic principle.”

That changes the question, doesn’t it? Here, love becomes less a mood, vibe, or connection than a standing policy. 

You do not have to wake up every morning dazzled by yourself, tho that would be amazing. 

No, you simply stop treating your own person as an exception to the ordinary courtesies, loyalties, forgiveness, humor, patience, and protection you readily extend to someone you love.

The Palgrave Handbook of the Philosophy of Humor, Edited by Lydia Amir, with forward by John Morreall, gives us a much more interesting route into that idea than contemporary self-care language. 

Amir traces a long philosophical tradition of self-referential laughter, including Democritus, Montaigne, Nietzsche, Santayana, Dennett, Morreall and others. The important distinction is that laughing at yourself need not mean joining the prosecution. Properly understood, it creates enough distance to see yourself clearly while remaining on your own side.

It’s an insightful volume and I highly recommend it if you want to delve deeper into Montaigne and others who remind us that we can catch ourselves doing something completely idiotic, and still love ourselves. 

I think the what we should be looking for is to: fall in love with yourself properly. Not narcissistically. Not ceremonially. Not through candles, manifestation journals, bath salts, or declaring yourself a goddess before coffee ☕️ . The key is to treat yourself the way you behave when you genuinely adore another human being.

When you love somebody, you learn their peculiarities. You know they lose their glasses while wearing them. You know which story they tell badly. You know they become irrational when hungry. You have seen their worst haircut. But none of these discoveries causes you to convene a tribunal about whether they remain worthy of affection. 

Imagine loving someone and reviewing the relationship every evening according to their productivity.

“Darling, I remain fond of you, but you accomplished only four of the seven things on your list today. Unfortunately, affection has been suspended pending tomorrow’s performance.” 

Love does not require thinking everything you do is wonderful. That would be useless. If I love myself, I can say, “Soph, that was an astonishingly bad idea,” with approximately the same affection one uses while watching a beloved dog walk confidently into a glass door. 

This idea seems reasonable to me. I have, after all, been in a relationship with myself for quite some time. We share finances, memories, passwords, several regrettable haircuts, and absolutely every argument I have ever had in the shower. At this stage, leaving would be administratively complicated.

And yet “love yourself” has always struck me as rather vague advice. Love myself how? Are flowers involved? Must I gaze appreciatively into mirrors? Should I start leaving little notes in my lunch?

Then I realized that I already know how to love people. Most of us do.

When I love someone, I don’t require perfection before breakfast. I do not withdraw affection because they misplaced something, said something foolish, gained five pounds, forgot an appointment, failed magnificently at a new idea, or spent twenty minutes looking for a telephone that was in their hand. I generally think: there they go again.

And somehow the affection survives.

Perhaps that is the basic principle.

First: loving yourself means dropping the strange employment-review model of self-worth.

Second: affection and accurate judgment are perfectly compatible. You can love yourself and know you behaved badly. In fact, love may make correction easier because every mistake is no longer an existential referendum.

Third: learn to find yourself funny. This is where Montaigne and the Palgrave offer more insight . Being able to see yourself as a ridiculous little human creature doing your best is psychologically very different from contempt. The Handbook repeatedly distinguishes the value of this self-referential humor from simply directing ridicule outward. 

Fourth: stop making self-love comparative. “I love myself because I am smarter/prettier/more successful/more interesting than X” is an unstable financing structure. Someone eventually walks into the room who is smarter, prettier, richer, younger, funnier, or capable of doing Pilates without making noises. Amir’s chapter specifically links the liberation of self-acceptance with escaping comparative emotions such as envy and jealousy. Easier said than done for most of us but heck, it’s an aspiration worthy of intentional pursuit. Anything to move the needle. 

Finally: basic principle means you remain yours.

You have been present for every embarrassing incarnation of yourself. You know what happened. You know what you misunderstood. You know what you survived, what you ruined, what you repaired, what you still cannot explain, and what seemed terribly important in 2007 but mercifully no longer does. You are the only person who has accompanied you through the entire thing.

It seems a little rude, after all that, not to become friends. So yes, I am willing to try being in love with myself as a basic principle. Nothing excessive. I am not planning a destination wedding.

But I might at least stop threatening to break up with myself every time I make a mistake.

We have history.









Sunday, August 30, 2026

When Laughter Goes Silent: Dedicated to Connor

What happens when someone who has always believed in the restorative intelligence of laughter suddenly cannot laugh?

This question is a bit different from the typical “how humor helps grief” column of modern humor articles. The latter leads to advice; the former question results in deeper contemplation.

Recently we lost a family friend to a violent tragedy. Without going into unnecessary details of the events, I can say that a real tragedy can destroy the very mechanism this blog has been exploring.

For years I’ve asked what laughter can do for us. I’ve explored it for myself, in every post. Today I have a small comment on what its absence reveals.

There are some forms of grief in which the idea of smiling feels biologically impossible, where your only focus is breathing or maintaining yourself in proper social constructs. It’s not that your thoughts are 24/7 sad, though grief is steeped in sadness. It’s that you can’t think or organize your thoughts. You have no energy for cognitive lifts. No desire to explain yourself. No real desire to communicate. You start to, but then the words disappear, and all you feel is heavy.

Ordinary incentives lose their pull and importance flies out the window. The world seems to be focusing on absurd things while you’re feeling something closer to internal detonation.

As a philosopher I eventually make my way back by scanning theories on loss and grief. But they are too heavy to read. Something between recognition and response has gone askew.

HTTF has never been about jokes, though they are interspersed throughout. It is about exploring human connection. When that connection is lost there is no laughter. It is the experiment’s hardest reality.

Humor is for those who can breathe their way through the day. Not for those who are truly mourning. On the ascent back you can find a soft respite in lighthearted humor. In puns or wordplay, but no word associated with the trauma of real loss or violence could ever be funny.

Visitors will note a deliberate absence of those words in this blog. This is for one very specific reason: respect for human dignity. You never know what others are surviving through; humor isn’t the time to remind them.

For anyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one to violence, my most profound condolences. I’ve long since said that we may speak different languages but we laugh in the same language. And now I am reminded that we also cry and hug without needing a single word to be uttered.

Dedicated to Connor. You will always be remembered as the friend who would stay over and help pick up after parties, for your laughter, your calm and kindness, and your devotion to saving people. Our hearts cannot fathom how this could have happened to a young man who spent his entire life learning how to save other people’s lives. Our hearts break for your family and for Dan and Talon, who did everything they could to try to save you. 💔