Saturday, August 18, 2012
102 Ways To Be Annoying
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."
22. Highlight irrelevant information on the chemistry of frosting in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid looking like they have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy asassination/ UFO/O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
83. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
"Annoying people" is a common Internet joke. The author of this blog does not endorse annoying people nor does she purposely try to annoy people. What the author does think is funny is reading and sharing the list with others to demonstrate the ridiculousness of said activity.
While the above list might annoy some people, none of these things annoy the author of this blog.
What does annoy the author of this blog is when the BLOGGER faulty programming takes out all the spacing I include in my posts and crams it all together when I post it, causing me to have to insert blank pictures to give the semblance of proper spacing.
Now, that's annoying!