Friday, September 12, 2014
The Kamikaze Bunny Ballad
The Kamikaze Bunny Ballad
Just look at us where we stand;
Our bedtime is at eight.
We don't like carrots in a can,
Because they are so very fake.
'Do you like our oozies?' we ask.
'And aren't they kinda cute?'
We agree it is a disagreeable task
To turn docile creatures into brutes
We with our little fluffy tails
That bounce while we eat
You cook us with our entails
And on your keychains put our feet
'It is our custom,' you say
'To take that which we see;
And that's just our way -
A fluke of fate, if you please.'
But budding is our plan
Though it may seem a wee bit mean,
We follow lead from the Great Lapin
The wisest bunny ever seen.
So, having no mercy to give
We swipe away your lucky rabbit feet!
And cry the cry by which the Kamikaze Bunny live
And thump you on the head as we screech:
'You have no right to cut off our tails
And throw the rest away,
And if we catch you recounting lucky rabbit feet tales,
You'll drop to your knees and pray:
'Forgive us y'all
We think not as we toil -
It seems that thinking above all
Is for some like taking castor oil.''
But we are armed and ready,
To blow you away all together
So that no bunny suffers your indignant pedi
And keeps their parts together
I shook myself awake and tried,
To think of all that which we do:
'Come, little bunny tell me how you feel,' I cried
'And together we'll hug it through!'
They said 'We hunt for the naughtiest human prize'
Among nature's spies
And pounce upon them in the silent night
And giggle when they realize
That rabbit feet are not lucky
Carry instead a nugget of gold
For carrying around furry little feet is yucky
And the custom is really getting old
And sometimes they listen and update their scrolls,
So that future progeny might learn, too
Keeping us as pets will not console
A baby bunny pruned
'And that's our tale' (they gave a little wink)
'By which we reconsidered lucky rabbit wealth -
And very gladly did the moral sink
Into our books upon the shelf
I heard them bounce away, as I had just
Made their furry little plight shine
Rescuing bunny feet from wicked clutch
By composing this little rhyme
I thank them much for telling me
How not to demonstrate our wealth
But chiefly for their hearts, so brave and wee
I toasted them to noble health
And now, if e'ver by chance I see
A lucky rabbit's foot dangling from a chain
I'll cry the cry of the Great Lapin
And summon the Kamikaze Bunnies again
Who will point their oozies at your toe
A very heavy weight, indeed
And remind you of that which you already know
That Kamikaze Bunnies only need
A gentle hand, a speech that is
So that their whiskers don't flicker with woe,
And their faces don't wince in sorrow,
Their eyes, like cinders, all aglow,
Who bring us joy to and fro,
And hop and bounce, and oh
Are so very cute and loveable
And if we cut off their little feet, like so
We'll incur their wrath, just like long ago
So don't act like you don't know
That Kamikaze Bunnies exist, to keep us on the straight and narrow
All before their bedtime at eight.