On this Thanksgiving, be grateful you're not a turkey...
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
My Uncle Harlon must be the toughest man in the world. He recently found a crutch - then he broke his leg so he could use it.
The older we get, the closer our legs resemble cows more than calves...
My turkey just applied for disability, it survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
He ate so much over the holidays that he decided to quit cold turkey.
What sound does a Space Turkey make?
Hubble, hubble, hubble.
Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.
When did the Pilgrims first say "God bless America"?
The first time they heard America sneeze!
What do you call an unhappy cranberry?
What's blue and covered with feathers?
A turkey holding its breath.
Why did the Pilgrim eat a candle?
He wanted a light snack.
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
He had an arrow escape.
Turkeys are often times banned from church
Because of their FOWL language
What happen to the prize fighter nicknamed "The Turkey"?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?
Why did the Turkey start a band?
He had great drumsticks.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son?
If your papa could see you now,
he'd turn over in his gravy!
On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day;
Shove GIANT hunks of Velveeta into the turkey while it cooks.