Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Senior Double Entendres

Lord Chamberlain would no doubt gape in agony at the many sophomoric double entendres that have crossed over from the demi-monde into polite society. Still, theater goers often prefer jokes from Miller's blue book vs. the white. 

Word plays, puns, and innuendos, can all be expressions for use in times of (self-imposed) heaviness. Learning to take ourselves "lightly" is a powerful coping skill, allowing us to navigate more gracefully the unexpected.

For years, I have notoriously 'misunderstood' comments and double-meanings, failing to "get it" as they say. While it's true, I'm a daydreamer and often "in my own world," my career has been spent in international markets where my fluency in world languages has landed me into some pretty spicy conversations, resulting in heavy blushing and accelerated speech in the forlorn attempt to try to "get out of it." 

Early in my career, in a restaurant in Monterrey, Mexico, I decided to order a famous Northern Mexican dish, Huevos Norteños (Eggs prepared Northern-Style), scrambled eggs with salsa and dried meat. After having practiced my pronunciation of this dish, I sat confidently with our Mexican Global Fortune business associates and ordered: "Norteños con huevos," to which our simpatico waiter replied, "Con todo gusto!" 

Apparently, the subtle difference in word order switched my 'eggs prepared Northern-style' to 'a north man with cojones.' 

My own familiarity with word puns comes from my feisty grandmother, who used to frequently quote Mae West, the American actress, "When given a choice between two evils, I typically choose the one I haven't tried yet." 

Actually, my grandmother, who read Reader's Digest religiously, was a joke a minute. I recall watching the television show Jeopardy with her. One evening an elderly woman appeared on the show. When the host asked her how she spent her days, she replied: 

I get up with Will Power
I walk around town all day with Charlie Horse
And I go to bed with Ben Gay 

My grandmother was fairly nifty with her own double entendres. She'd say things like: 

"Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot"

"I read the obituaries before I take my morning coffee to make sure I'm not dead"

"Others mistake my mid-day nap for the deep sleep"

The Golden years are here at last
I cannot see, I cannot pee
I cannot chew, I cannot screw
My memory shrinks, my hearing stinks
No sense of smell, I look like hell
The Golden years have come at last
The Golden years can kiss my a**

 In memory of one funny lady...

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