Monday, May 30, 2011

Less Is More

Unless you're anorexic, that is. 

Going on and on about physics, the philosophy of humor, and any subject requiring an advanced degree to simply navigate the terminology, usually isn't funny. 

Less is more, as they say. Take out everything that isn't funny. In my case, I'd be posting blank blog entries. While that might prove a subtle point, it's only good for a light chuckle, followed by an immediate dismissal of my more sincere inquiry on humor.  

I may not be a comedian, but I know that laughs matter. The problem is the moment I end a sentence with "matter" my daydreaming mind immediately travels to a sci-fi metallurgy shop where I'm tinkering with programmable matter that under precise conditions can be crafted into an invisibility cloak, which I would wear to trip very serious, pompous people so that they would fall down in front of discerning onlookers. This experience would force them to laugh at themselves, if only to tell the world that they have a sense of humor. 

Point being, I am going to try to cut out many irrelevant and unnecessary words and examples and invest more time in entertaining others than in indulging my own twisted, bizarre sense of nerdy humor. 

I'm hoping that the DELETE button will quicken my pace, elicit better reactions from my audience, and increase the momentum allowing me to tap into new creative areas. 

How do you carve out a beautiful flower from a chunk of marble? Just take out anything that doesn't look like a flower. 

It's the same perspective I come to when studying any subject. Examine the subject and cut out the details. Same with a joke. Death is in the details. 

Speaking of which, did you hear the one about the three guys who die together in an accident and go to heaven? When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks." 

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks everywhere. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one. 

St. Peter immediately appears, accompanied by the ugliest woman the guy ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!"

The next day, the second guy accidentally steps on a duck, and again St. Peter appears and chains him to an ugly woman. 

The third guy observes all this and not wanting to be chained all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. 

The guy remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" 

The woman replies, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck." 

Sunday, May 29, 2011

How To Hot Wire A Car

It dawned on me that in all this algorithmic consciousness business and thought-provoking entertainment for the human mind, I failed to provide any sort of tangible information someone might need or want as an added benefit to reading my blog. 

How To Hot Wire A Car

I have experienced a number of occasions when this proved to be an indispensable skill. 

I lost my only set of car keys at the theater (there's nothing more embarrassing than breaking into your car at the symphony, that too, by the way, is an important skill)...

Broke my rental car key (I rented a car and accidentally broke the key off while using it as a tool to open a box)

There was a number of "better not mentioned" moments prior to my 16th birthday when a spare key would have saved me from getting grounded...

Disclaimers (best listed first): 

1. Hot-wiring a car without the owner's permission is illegal, except of course in repossessions. As such, if you are repossessing your ex-boyfriend's car because you can't imagine him ever driving that cool car with another woman, feel free to skip 1A and read ahead. 

1A. If you are repossessing your ex-girlfriend's car, you should be ashamed of yourself! How's she going to get to Hot Topic at the mall without that sweet ride you bought her? Have you even considered how difficult it will be to go to the gym or day spa? Shame, shame, and more shame. If you are even thinking about repossessing your ex-girlfriend's car, I'm going to kindly ask that you leave this blog at once. 

2. Hot-wiring can be dangerous; that means there's risk of electrical shock; that means, be careful dummy. 

3. Hot-wiring will not work on all cars, particularly cars with security devices. Leave those to the pro's. If the car has a "kill-switch", just walk away. 

Finally, the instructions on how to freakin' do this: 

1. Watch the movie Gone In 60 Seconds, that will totally psych-you-up! 
2. Scope out your car. 
3. Make sure no one's looking or bring the neighborhood paperboy to serve as a look-out
4. Open the hood. 
5. Locate the coil wire (it is red; if you're color-blind, close the hood and walk away): To find the wire, follow the plug wires, which lead to the coil wire. The plug and coil wires are located at the rear of the engine on most V-8's. On a six-cylinder engine, the wires are on the left-side near the center of the engine, and on four-cylinder engines, they are located on the right-side near the center of the engine). 
6. Run a wire from the positive (+) side of the battery to the positive side of the coil, or the red wire that goes to the coil. This step gives power to the dash; the car will not run unless it is performed first. 
7. Locate the starter solenoid. On most GM cars, it is on the starter. On Fords, it is located on the left-side (passenger-side) fender well. An easy way to find the solenoid is to look for the small wire and the positive battery cable. Cross the two with a screwdriver or pliers. This cranks the engine.  
8. If the car has a standard transmission, make sure it is in neutral and the parking brake is on. If it has an automatic transmission, make sure it is in park. 
9. Unlock the steering wheel using a flat blade screwdriver. Take the screwdriver and place it at the top center of the steering column. Push the screwdriver between the steering wheel and the column. Push the locking pin away from the wheel. Be very firm when pushing the pin; it will not break. 
10. Once the car is started, head for Mexico. In the event you do not have a GPS, simply drive south and look for the Bienvenidos à Mexico sign (note: 1. make sure to take your passport or we will not let you back in; 2. ditch the car in Mexico prior to returning and cross back over on the walking bridge. 3. Buy a piñada for your kid, niece or nephew. 4. Smile a lot.)

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Is It Sunday Yet?

All I've done today is entertain myself with random blog postings on quantum stuff. I'd like to think that in doing so I've deployed my budding gift as a philosophical humorist to explain the wider significance and motive of what was narrated. I'd like to think that my use of satire, parody, and irony; my ability to shift effortlessly from factual statements to cleverly observed description; my burgeoning command of language to create effect - all enable me to turn humorous events and analysis into a seamless and compelling narrative. 

If not, oh well, I tried. 

Now, while I find it difficult to believe anyone apart from a select one would be interested in taking a shot at quantum gravity theory just for the heck of it, I'll continue to ramble on about this subject because I just haven't finished saying my peace on the whole matter at hand. 

Vibrations or manifestations act upon what Einstein called the fabric of space, causing a polarization, which is a condition of opposites. One pole is pure energy without vibration or motion. The other pole is pure energy (the same energy) in a state of maximum vibration or motion. Because the negative pole (void) appears to be first in order, it could be considered the first state. 

The second state is held by the first state (void, for those of you not paying attention) or fabric of space. This means that the second state as a polar opposite could be contained in the center or inside of (be it infinite or finite) the first state. 

All matter as we know it is made up of small particles called atoms. Atoms are made up of smaller particles called protons, neutrons, and electrons. You know, the stuff your Jr. High School Science teacher loved to go on and on about. Well, anyhow, protons and neutrons are composed of even smaller particles called quarks. (While quarks were theorized in 1964 and discovered in 1968, I don't remember reading a thing about them while I was in school). Inside the center of the atom exists the nucleus (apparently every 5th grader knows this). Electrons orbit the nucleus (motion). Quantum mechanics describes the electrons as occupying regions of greater probability density called orbitals (versus being held by gravity or an electromagnetic force as originally described in classical mechanics, which just so happens to be the name of a course I never took). While we view the three dimensional world through our senses, we don't actually see, smell, taste, touch, or sense the majority of vibratory wavelengths present in the material realm. Shucks. Instead, our brains transmit chemicals in response to vibrations and wavelengths. 

Brief commercial break for a moral lesson: 

If you don't like the channel you're watching, switch it. 


Heisenberg May Have Been Here

Anyone accidentally clicking on this link in the hopes of finding a good joke or more on the theory of humor should instead click on one of my earlier links or fast forward to another section of this blog as this post is part of a continuing discussion that began with the Consciousness Whisperer, namely welcoming those few geniuses who feel the need to take in the entire universe in a succinct glance in order to put the whole existence business behind them and focus entirely on the philosophy of humor. 

If, however, you're one of those geniuses determined to merely see something to its ultimate conclusion, I assume that like me, you have either environmentally created or inherited some OCD tendencies in which case I'd highly recommend you contact Dr. Jeffrey M. Schwartz as it would appear, after having read his book, that he seems to have more than half a clue as to what's going on and could potentially treat you so you don't ever suffer from reading a blog posting this long ever again. I believe he can still be contacted at the UCLA School of Medicine. 

Now, where was I? Oh yes, a compulsion overcame me that interrupted my train of thought because I felt I had to show you how to find Orion's Nebula in the night sky. 

Moving on, a wavelength is a physical manifestation of the void and exists with polarities. Material wavelengths, as seen in this world, are the motion of outward expansion, and at their core, represent the polar expression of the void. 

In Einstein's theory of general relativity, the geometry of space and time is not fixed. Rather, it is a dynamical entity whose evolution must be determined in concert with the evolution of matter. The absence of an externally prescribed geometry is known as the principle of background independence (the void). 

Apart from general relativity, the other pillar of modern physics is quantum theory, which says that the laws of nature are subject to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle. Since matter is subject to the laws of quantum theory, since Einstein's equations relate to matter and geometry, and since this distortion of geometry corresponds, in Einstein's theory, to gravity, it is clear that gravity must be described quantum theoretically as well. 

While gravity may appear to be a simple subject, the premise that it must be constructed in quantum terms is evidence that we have not fully understood the complexities of matter's full range of polar expression. 

Unfortunately, a quantum gravity theory is actually difficult to construct. I'll leave you with that thought today and share a few more thoughts on the matter once I've rebooted my brain with some mindless television (i.e, I'm tired and I'm taking a break). 


Is Your Mind Frying Yet?

If you've regenerated enough synaptic connections allowing for the easier flow of vibratory messages to transmit into conscious thought, let's continue...

During the first 380,000 years after the Big Bang, the universe was probably so hot that all matter existed as plasma. During this time, protons could not travel undisturbed through the plasma because they would have constantly interacted with the charged electrons and baryons in a phenomenon known as Thompson Scattering. As a result, the universe would have been opaque. 

Listen up artists wanting to visually represent this aspect of the universe, you now have your color scheme. 

As the universe expanded and cooled (polarized), electrons began to bind to nuclei, forming atoms. The introduction of neutral matter allowed light to pass freely without scattering. This separation of light and matter is known as decoupling. The light first radiated from this process into what we now call the Cosmic Microwave Background.

If that isn't cool enough for you, the CMB is also a perfect example of redshift (given how many of you are actually actively seeking a perfect example of redshift). Originally, CMB photons had much shorter wavelengths with high associated energy, corresponding to a temperature of about 3,000 K (5000º F). As the universe expanded, the light was stretched into longer and less energetic wavelengths. 

By the time light reaches us, 14 billion years later, we observe it as low-energy microwaves at a frigid 2.7 K (-450º F). This is why CMB is so cold now. Although the temperature of the CMB is almost completely uniform at 2.7K, there are very tiny variations, or anistropies, in the temperature. 

These anistropies correspond to areas of varying density fluctuations in the early universe. Eventually, gravity would draw the high-density fluctations into even denser and more pronounced ones. After billions of years, these little ripples in the early universe evolved through gravitational attraction, into the planets, stars, galaxies, and clusters of galaxies that we see today. 

Have you seen the documentary, Hubble, at the IMax? There's a great visual scene where little galaxies are being born in lower portion of Orion's Nebula. 

For those of you who want to see Orion's Nebula, go outside on a clear night and look up at the sky in the southeast direction (assuming you're in the Northern portion of the United States). Look for the brighest star in that part of the sky. That's Sirius (the Dog Star). From Sirius, look up and to the right until you see two sets of three stars that line up in a straight line. That's Orion. 

Another way to recognize Orion is its kite-like shape. The constellation is also known as a great hunter/warrior from Greek mythology, with Orion's Nebula located in Orion's sword, which hangs from the belt of Orion. (Orion's belt is the three blue diagonal stars seen in the center, while Orion's sword is the rest of the three vertical stars below the center of the belt. The Origon Nebula is the center "star" in the sword.)

This Is When Things Get Twisted

I know it might seem as if my algorithmic theory of consciousness has now collapsed and rearranged, given the last posting on dreaming new wavelengths, which I actually intended for a separate page, but due to technological difficulties (i.e., my challenge with technological devices), ended up posting herein, interrupting the flow of consciousness, which began with the Consciousness Whisperer. 

With that being said...I'm quite thrilled you've returned for my next performance. Please take this time to ensure your computer is plugged in properly to an outlet, that you have sufficient lighting, and that perhaps you even a frothy beverage to warm you as you read on. 

Hold on a moment, while I go make my Café au lait....Okay, here we go. 

If you're anything like me, you're probably wondering from whence this algorithm derived? Cosmologists believe that the universe is infinite; meaning, there is nothing outside of it; that the Big Bang is not an explosion in space, but rather, an explosion of space. 

Utilizing this latticework as an analogy of the universe, and each cube is a galaxy (or cluster of galaxies), and the connecting rods represent space between these galaxies. Whenever the universe expands, imagine that every rod connecting the cubes grows longer and at an even pace. Every single cube gets further and further away from every other cube, but the size of the cubes themselves stays the same. The cubes are not moving along the lattice work but are being carried by the expansion of the lattice itself. 

Essentially, infinity is growing. 

Theoretically, all vibration or movement derived from an initial void, with the void being defined as a all-pervading, infinitely elastic, massless medium propagating electromagnetic waves (that's a mouthful). These waves or vibrations manifest as positive and negative poles. In their truest forms, vibratory poles range from negative blackness (motionless) to positive light or pure white light (vibration at its highest maximum motion). Within this range are varying vibrations that are associated with different types of wavelengths. Together, they form pure energy or a void prior to an electromagnetic wave manifesting. 

In 1964, Bell Laboratory scientists Arno Penzias and Robert Wilson were trying to detect sources of radiation that might potentially harm satellites. Their data, however, showed background noise from a microwave signal corresponding to a temperature of approximately 2.7 K (Kelvin) that appeared to be emitted from every direction. This apparent aberration was recognized by scientists at Princeton as remnant radiation from the earliest observable moment in the evolution of the universe, now called the Cosmic Microwave Background. 

The CMB is ancient radiation leftover from a time roughly 380,000 years after the Big Bang when hot, dense plasma that permeated the universe cooled with the expansion of space. At a nearly uniform temperature of 2.7 K, the CMB fills the entire universe and can be detected everywhere we look. If the human eye could see microwaves, the entire sky would glow with nearly equal brightness in every direction. 

Before thinking about the form of the universe during the first 380,000 years after the Big Bang, take a moment to really think about the idea of infinity growing. I myself am trying to grasp how I feel inside merely contemplating the concept of nothing existing outside ourselves growing because my finite mind always wants to superimpose a framework outside of myself. I'm wondering if a key to unlocking higher frequencies follows the experience of letting go of that mindset and simply allowing for the experience. 

Dreaming New Wavelengths

The Beach

The mist rolls in from the ocean current
The sand lightly dances on the beach
Carried by the wind of change
My children’s laughter over near the Cliffside rocks
Why aren’t they standing next to me? I wonder
I look to the sky; it is hushed
A button appears
I push it without thinking of the consequences
The atmosphere collapses; blackness appears in the sky
I’m sorry; I did it
It is dark now; the world is still
Life has ended by my hand

This poem is from a dream I had in 1998, a dream that has haunted me for many years. Aristotle says we cannot “lightly either dismiss” dreams or give them “implicit confidence.” But what do you do when a dream fills you with dread? In my dream, I caused the end of the world through my own carelessness while my children played, trusting, unsuspecting of what was to happen. My last thought in the dream was that I would never hold them again. What a terrifying image for a mother, where trepidation churns in your stomach, ripping it apart until you shudder at every choice you make fearful its conscious intent will lead to this event.

What happens during sleep is still a mystery to many, yet it is not improbable to discover many explanations to our questions during this resting state. Depending on your knowledge, understanding, and personal beliefs, you could assign a myriad of resemblances to interpret my dream. One could say that to dream of the world ending is a sign that the individual is under tremendous stress or has a deep-rooted fear that their world is about to change dramatically. And when we talk about “the world,” aren’t we are generally referring to everything “around us,” so much so that if feels as if the entire world would cease to exist if we did?

In prophetic dreams, the end of the world has been characterized as being followed by a death of someone close to the person who dreamed it or in extremely rare cases, to the dreamer themselves. As with most people, events in our dreams can be so small compared to the magnitude of our movements when we’re awake, that they often times become either heightened or dismissed due to their specificity. Imagine your alarm clock buzzing in the morning and because you’re still dreaming, you imagine that you’re in the middle of a thunderstorm. You wake slightly startled, then relieved at the notion that it was only the alarm sounding. Now, it is easy to see the link between the alarm clock sounding and your brain responding by imagining you’re stuck in a thunderstorm. However, one could also say that the thunderstorm signifies a violent eruption of anger or aggression or even that an important life lesson is about to happen and that you need to pay close attention, as you would to something as loud as thunder.

For centuries, prophetic dreaming has been written about in many cultures and religious teachings. In the Bible, in the book of Daniel, King Nebuchandnezzar is troubled by his dreams, “I have dreamed a dream, and my spirit is troubled to know the dream.” When the Chaldeans told the king they would interpret his dream, he then answered, “The thing is gone from me: if you don’t make known to me the dream and the interpretation of it, you shall be cut in pieces, and your houses shall be made a dunghill. But if you show the dream and the interpretation of it, you shall receive of me gifts and rewards and great honor: therefore show me the dream and the interpretation of it.”

The Chaldeans answered a second time, “Let the king tell his servants the dream, and we conscious intent show the interpretation.” The king again was not pleased with their answer, believing that their knowing the dream would allow them to lie to him and corrupt their words. He believed that they must first know what he dreamed, and then interpret it, if they were telling the truth. Otherwise, they deserved to die for their deceit. The Chaldeans, in exasperation, told the king, “There is not a man on the earth who can show the king’s matter, because no king, lord, or ruler, has asked such a thing of any magician, or enchanter, or Chaldean. It is a rare thing that the king requires, and there is no other who can show it before the king, except the gods, whose dwelling is not with flesh.”

The king became angry and commanded his captain to destroy all the wise men of Babylon until Daniel asked the king for more time. The bible says that the secret to the dream was revealed to Daniel in a vision of the night. Daniel brilliantly related the kingdom of King Nebuchandnezzar to the kingdom of heaven, explaining how the king’s kingdom would be divided and lesser kingdoms would appear after his death, while the kingdom of heaven, the only true kingdom would remain unchanged. He explained that King Nebuchandnezzar’s kingdom on earth was his because God had chosen him to reign over the land, people and animals. This symbolized to the king that he was chosen by God, something he responded to favorably, and that it would only fall apart when he died, which eased his fears that it would happen during his lifetime.

Was a it prophetic dream that the king had, the future of his kingdom being destroyed or changed in a way that looked like the end of the world as he understood it or was it merely a dream that symbolized his fears or concerns that his kingdom was changing and that he was getting older and could not reign forever?

The king’s dream can be interpreted in a number of ways. Daniel’s answer was indeed wise, however, what about Daniel’s dream? Was his dream prophetic or was his brain, fearful of death for he and his family, dreaming creatively as a mere response to the pressure to give the king an answer that would appease him? Either way, Daniel benefited from his wisdom and sage advice and was greatly rewarded.

A poem by Harriet Monroe called The Blue Ridge relates mountains with sage wisdom revealed by dreams. She compares mountains to human consciousness, residing at the edge of the world, almost out of reach of our conscious thoughts, but still there. Her line that all can be revealed in silent sleep is another example of how many people throughout history, artists, kings, poets, writers, sages, and prophets believed in the prophetic power of dreaming.

STILL and calm,
In purple robes of kings,
The low-lying mountains sleep at the edge of the world.
The forests cover them like mantles;
Day and night
Rise and fall over them like the wash of waves.
Asleep, they reign.
Silent, they say all.
Hush me, O slumbering mountains –
Send me dreams.

The Bible, as well as many other books of great historical relevance, shows traces of a general and sometimes substantial belief in dreams. Plato, Goethe, and Shakespeare assigned prophetic value to certain dreams. The famine of Egypt was revealed by a vision of lean cattle. Joseph and Mary were warned of the cruel edict of Herod, and fled with Jesus into Egypt.

The writers of Greek and Latin classics relate many instances of dream experiences. Homer accorded divine origin to some dreams. During the third and fourth centuries, the supernatural origin of dreams was so generally accepted that the founding fathers of the Christian Church, relying upon the classics and the Bible as authority, made this belief a doctrine.

Joan of Arc predicted her death. Of course, her journey was dangerous and treacherous for a young woman in that time period, so one could consider it a fearful, or even prudent dream representing her conscious understanding of the dangers she was facing.

Jocasta, the queen of Thebes, was married to King Laius and bore him a son, Oedipus, who was destined to kill his father and marry his mother, so said the oracle. Laius sent his son away to be left to die, but his servant gave the child away, to be raised unknowledgeable of his true birthright. Laius was later killed in a dispute along the road. While Jocasta, following the death of her husband, spoke of “empty nonsense,” of prophecies never fulfilled, she did not know that the “robbers” who she thought killed her husband, did not exist, that it was actually an incident between her son, now new husband, who did not know it was his father in that fatal dispute. While both Jocasta and Laius tried to circumvent fate, both fell victim to it.

As in medieval and ancient times, people are still experiencing prophetic dreams. Of course, it may be wise to forget what we consider prophetic dreams as quickly as possible, as by remembering them through the conscious mind we could impress them in the immediate subconscious and make them manifest. To think about a negative prophetic dream may be the beginning of its creation. However, being incredulous about dreams could lead someone to the same fate as Julius Caesar, who might have benefited had he listened to the warning that Calpurnia, his wife, received in a dream.

Perhaps prophetic dreams offer us an opportunity of mitigating the severity of a coming shock, and in some cases maybe a means of avoiding the threatened crash. Much of this may depend on the nature of the crisis, be it simple avoidance of an ill-fated voyage or a larger-scale premonitory vision, such as a correction in orientation or direction of the planetary forces. When dreams involve the conscious intent of the individual, perhaps a critical moment is revealed to avert a disaster. If, however, the dreams are events destined to pass through a period of special tribulation, regarded as an opportunity for the correction of a specific orientation of mankind, must we stand impotent against them? If our fate is indeed revealed by dreams, we may be given the greatest gift that humanity could receive, an opportunity to choose, to meet the future in a spirit of rebellion, resignation, or with conscious intending acceptance. This would imply that by responding to our dreams in the objective state, we possess the power to interact with additional vibratory frequencies to shape and create our own destiny.

In sleep, human volition or conscious intent is suspended, leaving the mind often a prey to its own fancy, whereby a knock on the door may be magnified into the sound of a gunshot. Yet, a supersensitive perception is awakened. Not only is the sleeping mind sensitive to sound and light, responding to these sensations via standard brain activity and reasoning, it is also supersensitive to other cosmological vibrations, thoughts, and events, meaning capable of seeing hours and days ahead of the waking mind. While this, conceptually,
may appear against the laws of nature, it is present in nature, seen through animals or insects like ants, who away from atmospheric changes, still know of the approach of the harvest and react accordingly.

People respond to the same types of invisible signs or influences during sleep that animals respond to during their waking hours. Animals may not respond with the same type of indeterministic causality humans do (be it a personal attitude or mental or physical motion that effects its environment) but they do effect and interact by a form of causality, meaning there is a relationship between them and their environment. However, unlike animals, people reason these influences out by cause and effect when they are awake. The nature of consciousness while we are awake carries with it the element of human conscious intent. Yet, while we are asleep, conscious intent is no longer present, no longer interfering with nature’s laws and vibration’s. As in quantum physics, it is the observer that effects changes the phenomenon being observed. Therefore, perhaps human conscious intent is also an unseen force emitting vibrating atomic units that interact with the laws of nature. Without exercising human conscious intent, would the laws of nature, as
seen in the dream world, manifest similar perceptions and foresight? If humans can suppress their conscious intent, could we not see and interact with these vibrations or influences in a way that allowed us to create our own destinies?

Rene Descartes believed that human conscious intent could be suppressed, and in the 1600s said:

“There is freedom in our conscious intent, and that we have power in many cases to give and withhold our asset at free will, is so evident that it must be counted among the first and most common notions that are innate in us.”    
     The Philosophical Writings, vol. 1.

Ludwig Wittgenstein more closely stated in Tractatus:

“The freedom of the free will consists in the possibility of knowing actions that still lie in the future.”

Did Wittgenstein share the notion that letting go of human conscious intent was a key to interacting with the unseen vibrations of nature?

Scientists may discredit dreams as being nothing more than wave patterns or essential functions that sustain life, such as breathing and body temperature, but how do we explain the differences in frequency band or cycles per second? The Theta wave band is present at 4-7 cycles/second and has been documented as being associated with “dreamy, creative, intuitive states.” Manfred Davidmann, How the Human Brain Developed and How the Human Mind Works. While this may explain how or what is physically happening in
the body during these experiences, there are no answers as to why some of these dreams are inspiring, intuitive, or prophetic in nature.

As the nature of a wave would suggest, movement predominates. Therefore, the brain experiences a multitude of wave bands or cycles per second during REM sleep. Generally considered the strongest, Delta wave bands, which occur at 1-2 cycles per second in frequency, occur when a person is in a deep, dreamless sleep. The Alpha wave band, which occurs at 8-10 cycles per second in frequency, is associated with a calm and relaxed state when the person is not thinking. And finally, the Beta wave band, at 15-30 cycles per
second in frequency, is associated with being alert, with normal thinking, with processing information.

While the physiological and biological aspects of dreaming are understood in terms of maintaining the health of the human body, the ability to dream something beyond sensory illusions or hallucinated dreams of imagined feelings or awareness is not understood. Why would an individual dream of future events or of loved ones dying before or at the moment of their death if the body merely needed to secrete hormones into the bloodstream to maintain proper brain health and bodily function?

With the advent of a computer and Internet connection, a multitude of texts, doctrines, and essays are readily available to anyone seeking more information on the subject of quantum physics, brain development and function, and philosophical and spiritual works relating to the importance of suppressing the human conscious intent.

What I would like to know is whether or not the energy or quantum waves sent out or pulled in by human beings during the act of expressing human volition or conscious intent affects the vibrations of invisible energy fields here in the material world and whether or not by suppressing human conscious intent we can perceive vibrations that until now have been invisible to the naked eye or not perceived by our senses. After all, the human eye only perceives light and color within a certain frequency range.

I Exist, Therefore, I Must Be Very Smart

For the geniusly deranged who insist upon following this algorithm of consciousness theory of mine, let's further infer that a biological structure could be held continuously along one or more larger states in a length of coherence capable of performing microscopic processing at differing states. 

(Assume the cosmos is evolving or that all matter in the known universe is evolving resulting in complex building blocks or dark matter components, latent matter not currently necessary for cosmological survival or exploration). 

Assuming that these states can (1) interact via reinforcement or overlapping waves (superimpose biological algorithms that mimic these effects in crossover) to form a larger wave; (2) interact via cancellation or by forming nothing at all, or; (3) interact via interference (superimpose recombination found in evolutionary biology that creates an adaptive system to test regions not previously sampled), making a more complex waveform, we can then infer that a human has inherent data structures that make it capable of performing microscopic or quantum processing that interact with a constellation of attributes capable of interaction via inherently clustered quantum waves. 

If human beings can "give explicit instructions for determining the nth member of a set, for arbitrary finite n, we (i.e., the DNA particles bound together by hydrogen molecules) could also be held as an input integer within a range of 0 to infinity, which may also share the capability of autonomously modulating attentional and computational or algorithmic efforts, as seen in human consciousness. 

(Okay, I can't help myself, but in the Rigveda, one of India's oldest collections of Vedic Sanskrit hymns, I recall reading a verse indicating that we are held in a higher mind, i.e., connected [bandhu] between the astronomical, the physiological, and the "spiritual.")

Moving on...

Just as the cosmos is composed primarily of dark matter, humans are composed primarily of the strings of complex building blocks. These similarities lend to the idea that the condition of consciousness inherent in human beings developed as the result of an algorithm, which exists cosmologically throughout the universe in particles that somehow bind matter together in a sort of multi-dimensional, cosmological algorithm of conscious processing and awareness. 

Wow, if you didn't already believe yourself to be a genius, just knowing that you're coexisting in a quantum field of genius creativity must have just boosted your self-esteem (I know it did mine). 

Oh, You Again? Welcome Back...Saint Dark Matter

Now where was I? 

Oh yeah, any such leap of thinking that leads you to believe that humans are pre-programmed with these algorithms by some omnipotent being is outside the scope my thinking on the matter. The inherent algorithms could be nothing other than an evolutionary process of time, crossover, and inversion in natural cosmological material that results in form or substances that are simultaneously, though seemingly different, composed of the very material found throughout all of the known universe. 

Just as genetics must strike a balance between exploration and exploitation, determining which algorithm allows for expanded states of conscious awareness must strike a balance between the constraints of genetic algorithms and cosmological ones. Given the effects of gravitational influence, observation, and interaction constantly altering any algorithm or body of manifested energy, a more free-spirited flowing exploration rather than a rigidly defined one has a better chance of yielding undiscovered potential. 

If we superimpose the biological algorithms that are at their best when exploring complex landscapes to locate regions of enhanced opportunity, we may derive the idea that by adjusting our biological algorithm through natural selection, it is possible to find ourselves presented with the opportunity to expand our present cognitive, mass-bound algorithm into a cosmological, infinitely existing algorithm that could preserve conscious awareness, thereby presenting the most novel condition for human evolution. 

Typically, when an algorithm is associated with processing information, data is read from an input source, written to an output device, and discarded or stored for further processing. Stored data is regarded as part of the internal state of the entity performing the algorithm. In practice, the state is stored in one or more data structures or complex building blocks. 

The DNA molecule is a biological data structure that has an inherent algorithm allowing for specific sequences (i.e., consciousness) to take place. Assuming that there is a shared algorithm inherent in the particles of DNA and the particles that make up the universe, and assuming that: 

1. Both the human body and universe are composed of an infinite number of infinitely small particles clustering together, following an algorithm of specific sequences, and; 

2. A common algorithm relating to hydrogen, both atomic and molecular, can exist as a variation of the same substance, which can interact via quantum waves, and; 

3. Even when H2 is not excited to specific quantum states, there is another kind of interaction that perturbs and slows down the moving proton, and; 

4. Structure formation in the universe proceeds hierarchically, with the smallest structures collapsing first, followed by galaxies and then clusters of galaxies, and; 

5. Dark matter acts as a compactor of structure, and; 

6. An electromagnetic wave train (light is a wave-train of electromagnetic radiation) always possesses two frequency components: a high-frequency and a very low frequency component, depending on the time of coherence (known as the length of coherence), and; 

7. Atomic hydrogen is extremely unstable, reacting violently to produce molecular hydrogen, which is extremely stable and present in DNA, and; 

8. Waves can move relative to fluid and form clusters, and; 

9. The motion in a magnetic field of an electrically charged particle (such as an electron or ion in a plasma) can be treated as a superposition of a relatively fast circular motion around a point called the guilding center and a relatively slow drift of this point, and; 

10. Drift speeds may differ for various species depending on their charge states, masses, or temperatures, possibly resulting in electric currents or chemical separation, and; 

11. The universe as a whole contains far more matter than that which interacts with electromagnetic radiation: the remainder is called the "dark matter component," and; 

12. The dark matter component has much more mass than the "visible" component of the universe (only about 4% of the total energy density in the universe [as inferred from gravitational effects] can be seen directly), and; 

13. The remaining 74% of the total energy density in the universe is thought to consist of dark energy, an even stranger component, distributed diffusely in space, then: 

It is thus further inferred that this post has gone on far too long, that at this point, there's probably no one left reading and therefore anything I write from this point on will be lost in that vacuum of space, I take my leave...

Bridge For Sale

As I was saying, while crossover complicates the effects of implicit parallelism, one evolutionary aspect of the human species that has been preserved in compact building blocks has been the inherent desire for discovery, to test new parts of target regions rather than to test the same string over and over again in successive generations. (By the way, it just so happens that these complex building blocks mirror the cosmological red-shifted spectra of expanding galaxies). 

In fact, the number of building blocks in a population of strings still vastly exceeds the total number of strings, so the genetic algorithm still exhibits implicit parallelism. This implicit parallelism allows us to test and exploit large numbers of regions in the search space while manipulating relatively few strings. Implicit parallelism also helps genetic algorithms cope with nonlinear problems by focusing attention on the most promising parts of a solution space (due to the ability to combine strings containing partial solutions). 

The discovery that the universe is expanding is a pretty cool idea. This expansion can be superimposed and applied toward genetic evolution, whereas the being is constantly expanding or evolving. The building blocks may not serve as the so-called "keepers" of genetic algorithms but rather as the collapsed or discarded DNA (like a genetic black hole that contracted in on itself) like we see in the universe called dark matter. 

Much like the discovery of microwave radiation by Penzias and Wilson in 1965, discarded human DNA is an indication of discarded genetic density in the past. Otherwise, if this DNA were not discarded, humans would be enormous in size. And as Penrose showed in 1965, a star collapsing under its own gravity is trapped in a region whose surface eventually shrinks to zero size, so too must its volume. 

All the matter or discarded DNA in humans has been compressed into a region of zero volume, so the density of matter and the curvature of evolution become infinite. In other words, there is an algorithm that maintains a constant mass and position in space and time for human beings relative to other bodies (stars, galaxies) in the universe that prohibits humans from outgrowing their habitats. 

And if you believe this, I have a bridge that I ordered, though the wrong one was delivered, which I intended upon erecting in my backyard that is now for sale. 

The Algorithm of Consciousness

An informal definition of algorithm states that, "an algorithm is a computer program that calculates something."  Boolos & Jeffrey (1974, 1999) state that: 

Human beings "can give explicit instructions for determining the nth member of the set, for arbitrary finite n. Such instructions are to be given quite explicitly, in a form in which they could be followed by a computing machine, or by a human who is capable of carrying out only very elementary operations on symbols."

The words "innumerably finite" mean "countable using integers perhaps extending to infinity."  Here, Boolos and Jeffrey are stating that an algorithm provides instructions for a process that "creates" output integers from an arbitrary "input" integer or integers that, in theory, can be chosen from 0 to infinity. Using this concept as a component of a quantum theory of mind, we might expect an algorithm to be an algebraic equation such as y = m + n - two arbitrary "input variables" m and n that produce an output y
With respect to our inherent nature, humans may possess internally contained algorithms and capabilities to find, decode, and then calculate arbitrary input integers or symbols m and n, symbols + and = and produce an output-integer y at a specified place in a specified format. This inherent nature or algorithm opens toward a further question of whether we are also composed of the necessary algorithms to execute algorithms beyond our physical density that, in turn, provide us with the ability to perform an action that allows us to adjust matter within ourselves, resulting in an expanded alert cognitive state in which we are aware of unseen states of materialistic reality. 

(If I didn't understand what I was saying here, I think I'd be totally lost reading this mixed bag of gallimaufry offering. So, if you have made it this far out of the sheer kindness of your heart, feel free to skip the rest of this theory and know that no one will begrudge you or even question your genius status). 

The inherent genetic algorithms of problem solving in coping with nonlinearity, leave us bedeviled to find a method for determining how to expand our present cognitive state toward an expanded state of awareness (okay, I'm bordering on Eastern theology here, but I'm determined not to cross over) of the material universe. While humans exhibit a remarkable versatility due to evolution and natural selection, crossover (the fundamental mechanism of genetic rearrangement [beyond the crossover point] for both real organisms and genetic algorithms) presents a multitude of strings, which may be curved by the distribution of mass and energy resting in them, to be deciphered in an already simultaneously evolving population. 

"Despite this complexity, it is the fact that a single string belongs to all the regions in which any of its bits appear. For example, the string 11011001 is a member of regions 11****** (where the  indicates that a bit's value is unspecified), 1******1, **0**00* and so forth. The largest regions - those containing many unspecified bits - will typically be sampled by a large fraction of all the strings in a population. Thus, a genetic algorithm that manipulates a population of a few thousand strings actually sample a vastly larger number of regions. This implicit parallelism gives the genetic algorithm its central advantage over other problem-solving processes." John H. Holland

Before I get into why crossover complicates the effects of implicit parallelism; duh, those of you actually following this post might say; I'll now take this moment to thank the Consciousness Whisperer for his or her calming presence, felt through a series of hushed, intimate utterances of agreement and gentle, tender, harmonious keystrokes leading to the next section. 

You'd Have To Be The Long Lost Consciousness Whisperer or A Genius To Think This Is Funny

Before I jump into my diatribe on the algorithm of consciousness, I must warn you, oh Consciousness Whisperer, that the series of postings I'm about to offer should probably be skipped. There is relatively little to gleam from this series of posts I'm about to make about the cosmos and our place in it. In fact, once I have finished elaborating on my little cosmological theory of consciousness and existence, I will, with the most untroubled, delighted mind, return to my regularly scheduled investigation of humor and laughter. 

If, however, you insist upon reading this, thinking perhaps you are a genius and should therefore find this funny as a result of your genius designation, you may be in for total, utter disappointment given that I've come to a crossroads that tells me that while the universe is beyond fascinating, the only element of sanity I offer myself or others is the idea that I exist. Yep, that's it. I think I do. Other than that, it's all conjecture. 

Oh yeah, before I forget, if you're just reading this on account of my persuasive title indicating that if you don't find this funny you are not a genius, and are thus hell-bent on finding it funny if nothing other than to prove to yourself your genius designation, then read on, but I bet you'll eventually skip over it, if you even make it past the first paragraph of what is to follow. 

For those of you zealous overachieving youngsters who have read Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, you may recall the opening whereby the announcer interrupts a showing of the happy little elf stating: 

     "I'm sorry to inform that this is not the movie you will be watching. The movie you are about to see is extremely unpleasant. If you wish to see a film about a happy little elf, then I'm sure there is still plenty of seating in theater number two. 

That would be your cue to click on the back button conveniently located at the top left-hand corner of your Internet browser (Google Chrome, is it?). 

For those clever 30 to 40-something year olds who grew up reading Winnie the Pooh, singing Tigger's Bouncy, Bouncy, Bounce song, who have read The Tao of Pooh, you might want to consider taking the Pooh Way and go along with your life in the Hundred Acre Wood while reciting the little ditty: 

     Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie,
     A fly can't bird, but a bird can fly. 
     Ask me a riddle and I reply: 
     "Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie." 

For unlike the late Ruth Montogmery, who wrote of extraterrestrials ushering in a new age of wisdom, I will not be including, unless absolutely necessary, any sort of telepathy, trans-channeling, or mystical New Age thought. I have removed all conspiracy theories from my query, avoided Eastern theological expounding on the nature of the universe, and utterly disregarded any idea of heaven on earth. This has left me with a rather dry, seemingly mathematical account of the nature of the universe, though I abhor mathematics because I am lazy. My theory includes a very poor understanding, on my part, of the theory of the potential of the quantum world and is therefore just sufficient enough to give me the appearance of a clue about the universe which has allowed my mind to rest and focus on other, more important, aspects of life - namely, humor.

As I said, only the world's Consciousness Whisperer or a Genius would think what I'm about to post is funny. And for your patience, I will start with a short explanation of how to read this exposition and defense of immense nothingness. 

First, I am going to post my dazzling, luminous simplification of our local, universal firmament in a number of postings. For if I do not, the length of this comprehensively succinct explanation would violate the shortened excerpts we've come to appreciate in the world of blogging. 

Second, assuming you've read this far, I can calculate that A + B = C, namely you already know how to read and therefore do not need to be told how to do so. That theory is further supported by the idea that you probably had to read the title of this blog, which hopefully caught your interest with the ingenious title, therefore proving once again that you already know how to read and that other than telling you that I'm going to post this in multiple entries, are probably now tiring of my long-winded, insubstantial introduction to my theory of consciousness. 

If you insist upon reading the following posts on the algorithm of consciousness, I can think of no other befitting, iconic expression other than, Baaaaaah. 

Stats and Fateful Musings

I have, as I have before, recently hit the limits of my physical existence. The doctors gave me my news and I’ve done my best to accept my fate. I have been poked and prodded and left with the certainty that I am going to die of cancer. Just like many others in my place, I have made my peace. In doing so, I realize that I haven’t yet published a damn thing, nothing that would even bestow me with an honorable mention. This can’t be right. 

Thinking back, I remember my accident five years ago when I broke my neck and back. Had I not been laid up for so long in pain and agony, I would have sued that hotel – and won. Nevertheless, as I sat in the lobby of the renowned Mayo Clinic in Rochester learning that my spinal cord injury had triggered a dormant cancer, it dawned on me that I was too young to die, not in age, but in accomplishment. I was determined to beat my diagnosis and show them just exactly who they were dealing with, namely one of the most obstinately stubborn women on the planet. A natural designation supposedly earned by my astrological birth sign of Taurus.

In any event, I traveled far and wide looking for healers and lo and behold, ended up living, while simultaneously, somehow also being cured of Type 1 Diabetes, a welcome parting gift. 

Much like the complicit glances two people give one another when exposed to utter stupidity in public, I looked at myself in the mirror and said, Good thing I can never finish what I start.

With an uncertain fate, I am confronted with publishing my many stories, theories on consciousness, and expounded philosophies on the nature of the universe. But, where? Here, in an anonymous, insignificant blog amid millions of others? A self-publishing, vanity press? That can’t be right. 

I have decided not to comply with fate’s wishes for I take the greatest pleasure explicating the philosophy of laughter, despite my curious unknown superintelligence.

While my present circumstances seem to rouse nothing other than sympathy from others, it has roused in me my own sleeping skeptic and possibly signified my own survival for yet a number of years to come. 

Hopelessness will not tighten around my throat, the perfidious doctors and obliging, bigoted nurses will not stunt my creativity with their sickly hospital corridors, and indifferent meanness. If anything, their lack of humanity will deploy only a renowned purpose for me to fly high above the darkening gloom of the ironic cycle of birth and death. Skipping, running, and dancing through the corridors, I disdain their specialist’s opinion, laugh at their prognosis, and fidget ceaselessly until they grant me my freedom to work out my own miracle. 

Meanwhile, my modest, unpretentious, self-effacing blog has been politely received. From Indonesia, South Korea, and the Philippines to the United States, Mexico, Japan, Denmark and Germany. How I have built even the inkling of an audience since April 17th is unbeknownst to me. 

Perhaps I do not have a readership, but rather a stat button picking up page views accidentally registered by someone having clicked on the wrong link. In any case, I take pleasure in believing that my miniscule contribution to the world of art and elegance in letters may be considered a welcomed addition. And while this may have seemed like a rather gloomy post, opposed to my usual eclectic diatribe on the origins of humor and laughter, I thought reading my own sketch would enrage that stubborn Taurus within me and help me shoulder the painted scene placed before me with renewed animosity and loathing resentment, allowing me to close my eyes, pick up a bucket of paint and thrust it at a canvas, erasing any sign of prior ceremony. 

From a tousled, shabby canvas, I hope to charm, enlighten, and potentially unlock some intriguing considerations about the world around us for a few perspicacious readers who have either scanned, inadvertently clicked, or potentially followed my musings.   

Friday, May 27, 2011

Day 7 - The Fool Who Could Not Confess or Hole In One

The One Hundred Parable Sutra warns of a fool who committed a heinous crime but could not confess his sins. This fool continued to break precepts, but waited until the end to confess them all. Unlike Rousseau, who attempted to present a self-portrait that was "in every way true to nature," this fool decided that humility and self-deprecation were not necessary, that he could simply unburden his conscience once he was done experiencing every aspect of himself, with all his frailties and prurient desires. 

Contrary to this fool's fear of persecution, are the fools who, in a fundamentally good and honest way, confess each and every misdeed to the point it's exhausting, if not infuriatingly difficult to begrudge them. 

Take the man who goes to the confessional and begins...

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." 

"What is your sin, my son?" the priest asks back.  

"Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible." 

"When did you use this awful language?" asks the priest. 

"I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards." 

"Is that when you swore?" "No Father," says the man. 

"After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away." 

"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Father again. "Well, no," says the man. 

"You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!" 

"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed Priest. "No, not yet," the man replies. 

"As the eagle carried the squirrel away in his claws, it flew toward the green. As it passed over a bit of forest near the green, the squirrel dropped my ball." 

"Did you swear THEN?" asks the now impatient Priest. 

"No, because as the ball fell, it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, rolled through a sand trap onto the green, and fell right into the hole." 

"Holy Shit!" exclaimed the Priest. 

"That's exactly what I said," smiled the man. 


Day 6 - The Thirsty Man Parable or I Can Point But I Can't Click

In the One Hundred Parable Sutra there's a tale basically recounting the old proverb, you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. In this sutra, however, there's a man dying of thirst, but when he arrives to the Indus River, refuses to drink on the grounds that he could never finish it all. 

We can explore being thirsty but refusing to drink by first identifying the conditions of a response (in this case, the body's need of hydration) against the features that something must possess in order to do so (the mind's willingness to drink). With respect to humor, we make the reverse comparison - our ability to isolate the psychological process that results in laughter, but inability to isolate the origin of humor (thirst).

When we attempt to define humor, we often evaluate the characteristics of the response (i.e., a laugh or smile) more than we evaluate the origin of humor, especially in light of the multitude of experiences people find humorous. We classify those multitudes of humorous experiences into categories based on the responses they evoke within us. We then propose new theories and definitions of humor based on those responses. Finally, we biologically question whether these responses are features specific to humans.

In the parable, it's almost ridiculously easy to pinpoint his problem with drinking when he's thirsty as a psychological one. Cognitively speaking, he knows he needs to drink something, that he's severely dehydrated, and that without water he could die. In spite of his thirst, other forces impede his ability to enjoy a refreshing, much needed drink so he psychologically refuses to do so. He concludes that he cannot possibly drink the entire river, which he has placed as a stipulation upon his becoming hydrated, and thus refuses to drink what little he needs to live. 

The parallel with humor is that we often think something is more humorous if it produces a laugh. However, depending on someone's psychological disposition and cognitive stipulations, a joke may simply evoke a smile. Is the joke less funny for this person? Is someone who laughs easily more dispositioned for humor?   

Maybe someone who simply smiles but cannot laugh is the same as someone who arrives thirsty to a river but for whatever reason cannot drink. Meaning, maybe the origin of humor is both cognitive and psychological. Cognitively speaking, humor may be rooted in our acknowledgement of incongruity, superiority or inferiority, but psychologically, it's rooted in acceptance and permission. In this respect, we must psychologically give ourselves permission to experience the feelings evoked by a cognitive judgment. 

If we cognitively "miss" a fact about what we psychologically want or don't want to experience, we can find ourselves, irrespective of our disposition, in a pretty humorous situation - at least for others! 

Like the Chicken who opts for hypnosis as a cure for his fear of losing control. 

Spray-painting "Vandalism Sucks" on a wall.

Pointing but failing to click. 

Committing to a Fear of Commitment Support Group. 

When will we learn that humor, like life, is simply giving ourselves permission to laugh?