Saturday, October 29, 2011

A Stick Figure's Halloween



All good harvests come to an end.  The lighter half must now slumber as the darker farce rises. Since the dawn of time, circles and lines have risen and fallen in the charade of irregularity. The same circles and lines that we Stick Figures call our ancestors.


From the primeval sludge, circles and lines emerged, had their brief time, and then, perished, along with the countless other circles and lines that came before them.

We Stick Figures are now nearly extinct, all but for a few circles and lines that remain. We are known in your world as Stick Figures, but we cannot be reduced to such piffle. We are not goggledygook; we are not an act of artistic barbarism in need of explanation. 



We are the original circles and lines that shaped this world, and we’ve surfaced tonight, this holy night, this night of secular custom you associate with Halloween, to warn you of a cataclysmic event that may have humanity clinging by its collective fingertips to the cliff of existence unless two bonfires inside two pumpkins adorning every dwelling are lit to lighten this world and restore drollery.



 According to legend, it is this darkened half of the year, 2011, not the popularized 2012, when the graveyards of the world, beds of brush and stone, return the circles and lines of yesteryears to lark the human species with jape and mischief.

These are perilous days. While our own extinction is not connected to the ruse of your species, we fret.  We fret for we fear you will not heed our warning, ignoring that at this very moment your species is hurtling toward a date with drivel.



Forewarned is forearmed. DO NOT forget to light two pumpkins outside your door on Halloween night for there would be nothing worse than awakening on November 1st, 2011, only to meet your doom wearing nothing more than your Halloween costume, a chocolate mustache, and an embarrassed expression on your face for having failed to light two, measly little pumpkins. 


Let no jester tell you that they told you so.

This Halloween message is for those who do not wish to perish into tomfoolery come the stroke of midnight on this very Halloween night.




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