Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Delusional World of the Free-Range Chicken

Dear Mama Cluck,

Boy is life grand here on the free-range farm! 
I knew once I made it here, I'd be sittin' right across from easy street! Check out the open pasture I just posted on my FaceCluck page. 

It's like a dream come true! 
And the girls at the pen thought I'd never get here, showed them, didn't I? They're going to be so jealous when they see who I hung out with today!


Don't worry, I got his autograph for you! 
There's only one fence to protect us here, the rest is open space.
Not a chicken wire in sight. And the stress reduction classes, I can't tell you how invigorated I feel!

Here's a picture of me in my new Yoga class. 
Farmer Joe says we're supposed to keep our stress levels down. 
Those who don't, usually end up with a radical new plastic surgery called debeaking. It's supposed to mellow you out...It's all the rave! 

The younger chicks spend a good deal of time in the sun. 
The pool boys hand out towels, shades, and all the free nuts we can eat! Not only that, but every day the buffet serves an "All you can eat" corn on the cob, fresh greens, cabbage, chard, and lettuce meal. 

This is a flyer for a really hip comedy club. 
The show is this Friday night!
Hope you can make it...

Love always, 

PS: They have a great school here for my younger brothers and sisters. 
Today, I learned that the origin of that terrible joke originated in the 1800s, you know, the one we despise about why we cross the road. Anyhow, the earliest mention of it was in 1847 in a magazine called The Knickerbocker. 

"There are 'quips and quillets' which seem actual conundrums, but yet are none. Of such is this: 'Why does a chicken cross the street?' Are you 'out of town?' Do you 'give it up?' Well, then: 'Because it wants to get on the other side!' 

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