Life is all about communication. When we keep a secret, we not only have to monitor what we write, but also what we might say with our photos, quotes, in-between-the-lines, and colloquial expressions. We become vigilant of our own being - separate from it rather than part of it. An Avatar of our true identity and, thus, an art form - a snapshot taken from a given angle depending upon the lens. The director and orchestrator of the shot. The private funding behind the public entity. We are then separate from the spontaneous, streaming
umph that marks true aliveness.
The posts herein are burdened with having to keep secrets. The exile, etched into the keyboard keys. The private equity investor on holiday, with few details - unlike most execs. The injunction mirrors the internalized feelings of entertainers and performers who rarely divulge their secrets - if ever.
And let's not forget the artistic poet, taking creative liberties - as is the case herein.
The little girl with the big imagination, labeled eccentric before she could spell the word. A confidant and, thus, an individual relaxed in the art of secret holding - in fact, quite relaxed. The encryptor, enjoying the creation of unspoken rules and patterns. The artist, mapping out said rules and patterns onto canvas - the key for which is nicely hidden in a neurological vault.
We are careful not to speak of secrets, even the mere mention of a secret sends imaginations flaring, minds wandering, and hopes twirling through a web of irrational desires, landing wherever they are trained to land - forever peeking out over the horizon.
If we jump from the ledge, Which direction, exactly, is up?
Secrets are kept
from Readers. I know someone who blogs about one subject, but who never discusses the reasons for it or explores their feelings on the matter. It is simply the case with many bloggers. Hidden clues and messages, nuances and innuendos peppering post after post, in patterns few can map out.
Why?
When life can be seen plainly but is not talked about openly, people pick up the unstated rule:
Keep Secrets
This makes it impossible for Readers to ask relevant questions on anything other than the shared subject matter, the words and phrases - which rarely match the design. Though written language comes after spoken language, which is programmed early in life, the use of communication to solve problems is a lost art. Most every communication, like these blog posts, is encrypted with sensitivities, with taboos, with secret or hidden agendas, and with fervor - passionate, privately endorsed privilege, to which few - if any - are granted access.
But why do we communicate like this when the goal of communication is clear understanding? What does secret communication lead to?
look around
It leads to a whole slew of forbidden subjects. In families where "certain subjects" are never discussed, everyone accepts that some information simply must be hidden. This increases undue shyness, awkwardness, and acting out behavior.
This type of communication is rampant in society. We expect it. We do it. We are accustomed to it. When we encounter something different, we repel - we wonder, "What's wrong with this person?" We wonder, "Why are there so many "Ws" in this paragraph?"
In the early Latin alphabet, there was no letter "u" or "w," but there was a "V." As writing forms progressed through the middle ages, the introduction of lower case forms gave rise to the form "u," originally a variant of the letter "V." The intermingling of forms continued up until at least the early 17th century, as evidenced by the following text in 1620:
In this text, the word "uso" does not make use of the alternative form but retains the original Latin form "vso."
Sometime during the middle ages, the sound [w], found in Old English and other early Germanic langauges, began being represented by the digraph "W" (two "Vs" side by side) and eventually gave rise to the single character "W."
As promised, or at least hinted, in the title of this blog post, I shall offer a secret to reading this blog, perhaps the introduction on secret holding was also fruitful in decoding posts - or in the realization that there is more than meets the reading brain than one had previously interpreted. Either way, here it goes:
As with the "W-tangent" above, this blog will often "go off on a tangent" of providing educational or otherwise informative information as a gift to Readers. This information, tangible in nature, is an added benefit of returning to this blog on a regular basis. Given that the author - namely, me - enjoys and takes numerous creative liberties with this blog, rendering it - at times - incomprehensible or, at the very least, confusing, said author - i.e., "me" - feels it the least she could do given her tendency to do this, which according to said author - okay, you know who I'm talking about - is not about to change anytime soon.
Typically, secrets promote ignorance. "I never saw it coming," is something sometimes heard once a secret is revealed. "I had an idea, but I never thought..." such a thing would happen, right? Exactly.
As with the recent circumstances surrounding the passing of
Robin Williams, the world community must be looking at one another, wondering ... "What are you hiding?" the following thought - I hope - is "...and how can I help?"
It is important to look for signs of secrecy with people. There is always a break in the flow of communication. Behavior or expressions are choppy. Lies are not natural, they are counter to natural human communication, which is as expressive as it is revealing. When individuals feel that they must keep secrets or guard information, their personality changes - and often times, they show a different aspect of themselves to different audiences - rarely do these two world mix.
Secrets do not allow a subject to reach home, to touch the light of consciousness where new information can be received for later processing. Secrets block the flow of energie, perpetuating repetitive and compulsive behavior patterns.
I wrote this post in an attempt to open up the dialogue of keeping secrets, something that the world community is now examining. The loss of a beloved, talented entertainer with whom many people around the world resonated has hit home. It is not the loss of just an actor. It is the loss of all the people we care about. It is the persistent question, "Could I have done something to help?" that gets people. We have all experienced loss in our lives and often times it leaves us at a loss in how to deal with it - and how to help others cope. We struggle with what to say - and how to say it. Do we get clever? Do we go for an emotional response? Do we divulge our own struggles as a way to communicate? How do we repair the perception of connectivity in a world when separation is staring us right in the face?
Being told - from childhood forward - that we are supposed to "act" a certain way in public, "speak" a certain way in public, "write" our essays a certain way, "do" math problems a certain way, "paint" in a certain medium or style, affects who we are - causing some to join the Hipster movement.
Unless you want this to happen to you - or to your children - beware of what you say, think, teach, tweet, and pass along to others. Most people cannot decipher your encryption codes - nor do they have time to even think about deciphering your encryption codes.
It is plain, ordinary language that appeals most to individuals. With the uttering of every sentence, there must be an equal recognition, review, and agreement to continue onward. Without this very precise give-and-take exchange, there is no connection - and separation follows.
Blogging and writing, in general, are solitary activities. You have to speak to someone. Rarely do writers craft words like an artist crafts shapes on a canvas - though, admittedly, some - including myself - do. The point is that it can be difficult to communicate to a general audience in a public forum as you never know who is reading, which secrets they bring to the table, what sensitivities they posses, and how life has shaped their worldview. Given the online community is global, language, culture, politics, and social status often confuse communications into misunderstandings.
Children learn by imitation. An atmosphere of clear communication promotes clear communication. When the home atmosphere is pleasant, peaceful, clear, and open to new information and experiences, so, too, are the individuals in that home. As our home community extends into the living rooms, the computers, and the phones of the world community, what we send out, like what we express in our own homes, affects the lives of others.
Be kind to one another. Know that comedy, in its truest form - humor - is not about
laughing at others ... it is about
laughing with others ... sharing the fun of life, celebrating the happy moments, the moments that make us laugh, and the moments that connect us. Connection does not have to occur at the exclusion of other groups. The experience is what connects us. The subject matter. Everyone should be welcome. It is not about age, gender, social status, or cultural heritage, it is about whether or not we find value in a particular subject, wish to know more about it, and enjoy sharing that information with others.
The future of world communication is the abolition of secrets in favor of open communication. Most people share in this understanding, so it is only a matter of recognition and practice that will allow it to flourish. When it does, I hope that no one ever feels so alone again that they choose to end their life. No matter what happens, no matter how old or wrinkly we get, or how many times our boat fails to show up, there is always something worthy of investigation just over the horizon - and by horizon I mean tomorrow, next month, or five minutes from now (as we never know who might be calling or texting or what zany idea might cross through our mind).
Rules are meant to be questioned. If there are unspoken rules in your life that tell you secret holding is important, examine them - ask yourself why you're holding the secret, what the pros and cons are of holding that secret, and what you would do if someone "found out."
If the answer to that question is "So what!" you're on the right track. Besides, most people are more concerned with their own lives than they are with your secrets. A secret only trends for a short period of time. Living with lies can affect someone's entire life - and the lives of those around them.
So, if you're wondering how to read this blog... just know, that everything herein was written with good intentions, a hint of good humor, an interest in sharing, and a playful demeanor ... there are no hidden secrets other than the ones I'm not telling you about.
