Lame Alphas & Humor

 The power to think of hilariously inappropriate jokes, but only at dinner parties with your parents.

The ability to get annoying songs and show tunes stuck in other people's heads.

I have the power to summon war in the blink of an eye.

I am...

President George W. Bush!

You do not have to be superhuman to do what you believe in...

To Swear or Not To Swear

When it comes to swearing, it's not just comedians adding emphasis to their acts, even the guru's are in on it - though, admittedly, they prefer to let us fill in the blanks. Isn't that just like a bleeping guru! ...they never give a straight answer to questions like What is this nothingness you speak of? And, If we're all connected, why's my neighbor such an a**hole?

Swearing, even in our totally modern, hip, go-with-the-flow socially globalistic community still has a taboo surrounding it, not to mention the fact that it's an evangelical hot-button. But it does have a power and energy to it. While I have admittedly rattled off a few doosies in my time, cursing is like reading an email in ALL CAPS. There's something very BIG and very LOUD about it. I suppose if you just want to be heard, cursing does the trick. But if you really want to be heard, whispering works like a charm. Of course, whispering into an open mike at a comedy club might result in the throwing of fresh produce.

I roll with laughter at the antics of many comedians, including those who use curse words to add emphasis to what they're saying. But sometimes, cursing just to curse seems rather unimaginative, not to mention, unintelligent. I think it's a bit of a tightrope walk, if you're not careful, you can lose your balance - and your audience. 

With respect to my personal taste, I prefer ideas that are fresh, that offer a unique perspective, that invite you to find the funny in places you never thought it could dwell. 

From what I can tell, many people are still reluctant to laugh at socially disrespectful subjects, such as religion, but when presented, for example, in a chart focused on profit-margins, I think the economic realities of certain spiritual practices speak for themselves - no cursing required (unless, of course, you invested in one of these schemes, in which case, the 2nd chart may be for you).

Emptiness So Quiet You Can Hear Yourself Think

Meditation

The practice of Enlightenment is forgetting the self 

in the act of uniting with emptiness...

Business people who go to India on vacation 

to learn the art of meditation...

Tech-Support Meditation

Sleeping Prophet Meditation School

Students wanted: Inquire within

Silent Generation vs. Generation Z in Meditation 

 Sign on the door of a meditation center:  

Out of body. Back in ten minutes.

Question: Who is the world's most prominent teacher of Zen meditation?
      Answer: M.T. Ness

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Bumpersticker seen in a meditation center parking lot:  

That was Zen; this is Tao.

OCD Meditation

Self-Absorbed Meditation

26 Days to Killer Comedy Material - Judy Carter Challenge

Official Judy Carter Site

Judy Carter is one of America's top motivational humorists. She's the author of "The Comedy Bible" (Simon & Schuster) and has appeared on over 100 television shows as well as thousands of corporate events. 

In Part Two of "The Comedy Bible,"  Judy states, "That's right, twenty-six days from now you're going to know how to write jokes based on your life experiences and perform them." 

Okay, Judy, my name is Sophy Laughing and 

I'm taking your challenge! 

 

After you've lived awhile, humor takes on a whole new meaning. For some of us, it's laughing at ourselves. For others, it's laughing at others before they can laugh at us!  

For the next 26 days, I will study your Bible to learn how to make my neighbor's laugh. I will harness all the nifty moments that have swirled, glittered, and exploded in my life into material worthy of a few chuckles, laughs, and, with any luck, some belly rolls! Speaking of belly rolls, I also commit to my exercise routine 5-6 days per week so I will not look so fat when I finally meet you and we get our pictures taken together! 

When I turned 40, I decided to give myself a sense of humor. Now, I'm taking it a step further! That's right, give me a sense of humor, next I'm wanting an upgrade! 

I'm soooo committed to developing a "good" sense of humor, that I've even filed to change my last name to Laughing. No matter what I do for the rest of my life, I'm assured to die laughing...and I'm planning on taking a few people with me!

Bicycle Wisdom

I've been riding my bike a lot lately and thought it would be good to 
Get in touch with my inner tube...

 Ten Reasons Why LIfe is Like Riding a Bicycle...

http://www.aish.com/sp/pg/48907897.html

1. You need balance. If you lean too far to one side, you'll fall off.

Regarding character traits, Maimonides writes "that a person should follow the golden 'path of the middle' and not lean towards one extreme or the other." 

It's important to always pay attention to where you're leaning.

2. Get back up again!

It's not falling down that determines your worth; it's whether or not you get back up.

3. In the beginning you stumble, but with more experience you can really get far!

Life is a series of learning from your mistakes. That's how you learned to walk and talk. And it's how you grow in life.

4. If you look at the ground instead of looking up ahead, you'll lose your balance and crash.

In life, it's easy to live in your own little bubble, consumed with yourself. You not only disconnect from the world, you ultimately disconnect from yourself. Look up and outside yourself. Connect to the world outside of you. Only then can you flourish. 

5. When the road throws you a curve, go with it!

When a turn is coming up, you lean with the curve. You don't fight it and go the other way.

Life sometimes throws you curves too, and in order to remain on top, you need to go with the flow. If a tragedy happens, accept its pain, and go with God's larger plan which is for the ultimate good!

6. A bike helps you get to where you need to go.

Some people ride bikes just for the thrill of it. And some people believe that life just for the thrills. They don't realize they have places to get to.

A bike is a tool – it's not the end goal. You're supposed to get to someplace with your life. Be clear on your destination, and if you use it well, you can really get far!

7. A bike doesn't move on its own.

Life and bicycles need people to operate them. Without a person behind the handlebar, guiding and making choices, it just won't go anywhere!

8. When you get really good, you can do wheelies!

After you've been riding a bike for so long, you can start doing the special stuff.

Life is like that also. Once you get the hang of who you are and where you're going, you can pop some big miracles too!

9. Bicycling gives you muscles.

Life toughens you up, especially if you ride up hills. Riding down a hill may be fun and exciting, but only riding up the hill strengthens your muscles. 

10. You can't do it forever.

Some people wish they could live forever. Some people believe it. But just like riding a bike, your body eventually wears out, and you need to go home.

The important thing is that you enjoy the ride, and you get to where you need to go!

Hairdos and Humor

Sometimes our most embarrassing moments are the funniest ones. We're not laughing at others' disastrous hairdos; we're often identifying with them! 

If you lived through the 80s, you'll quickly recognize this scrunchy hairdo! While I didn't post mine out of pure horror and humiliation, I can tell you these are the moments in our lives that we all tend to carry around with us. The issue comes from whether or not we let those memories define us today. The same goes for our perceptions on how others perceive us. If you have a sibling or friend that remembers you "way back when", they're often part of the perception that keeps us trapped "way back there" when we're ready to venture out. When this happens, turn it around as soon as you can. Make a joke about how you "used to be" or how you "used to dress" but don't give it any new energy. Laugh it away...

When all else fails, send them a "Before" and "After" picture... how great the world would be if we could see past the "Before" pictures...of ourselves and others! 

Alternate Reality Check

Have you ever created a disaster out of nothing? Frazzled yourself for no reason whatsoever? 

"Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of human misunderstanding." 

Ambrose Bierce 1842-1914

 

In hindsight, it's often funny how we misinterpret the comments of others, how our misguided anticipation or interpretation of things that are said affect us to the level of Hiroshima-type explosions in our mind, to only later discover that the comments were innocent, that we negatively interpreted a word or a look as such, creating the very conflict we anticipated. 

Comedy is like having a magician's magic wand. With it, we have the power to create magical results or illusions of doom and disaster out of nothing more than our intent and interpretation. Even out of great misfortune, humor allows us to create powerful opportunities to see the lighter side of life. 

Monitoring our perceptions and actively cultivating our ability to choose to see the humorous side of life positively impacts the quality of it. We spend a lot of time discussing and defending "reality", but the reality is... 

We don't live life as it is, we live life as we are.