You-Know-Who

Calling All Friends

Wanna move up to the BFF category?

Mixed Messages

Dear God

Dear God: 


I know you're busy running the universe and all, but I read in that book, you know the one, The Bible, that the meek would inherit the earth. It didn't say when exactly, and I have to admit, I'm wondering why the meek? Is that because you can impose the responsibility of running a planet on them and they won't complain? 

It's been a rough couple of days, and yes, mostly because of you-know-who. I know that I should loosen up, and that's exactly what I'm writing to complain about, cause I don't want to - unless of course, you're planning on punishing me for complaining, in which case I'd like to make it clear that it is not my intention to complain but merely ask why things are the way they are in the world. Of course, if I'm complaining, might I add that it's your fault, assuming you created the earth and the heavens and everything in it. So, technically, shouldn't you take the blame? Unless, of course, you buy into that whole free will concept, talk about reading the fine print. 

Come what may, I do need to ask a few questions. 

First, with your omnipresent powers, is it not possible for you to quantumly manifest a website whereby we could interact with you?  If a 5-year old can manage uploading videos to YouTube, I would imagine you could create a super-powered MyHeaven or AngelBook.  Given that creation is your thing, a social networking platform whereby prayers, complaints, and requests could be submitted, along with a Q&A section (not a FAQ section, those are lame and frustrating for those of us wanting answers NOW) would make a lot of people happy and solve once and for all the whole evolution vs. creation debate.

Second, while I appreciate the whole 'recovery' experience that you bestowed upon me, enough's enough. I've gotten over myself. I've gotten up, that was a miracle, by the way, that I'd like to thank you for. I've even changed my last name to Laughing so I can spend the rest of my time doing and inspiring just that. But, I have to tell you, I am getting tired of going to doctors and labs. I mean, you saw what happened this morning, right? I asked the woman today if she had ever heard of the word discretion, when I saw the utter blank look on her face, I asked her if she was familiar with the meaning of the word discretion, to my amazement, she had never heard of it. 

Since I had to spell it out for her, I'll spell it out for you, too, discretion means carefulness, tact, diplomacy, delicacy, and sensitivity. Just as I didn't want my business shouted across a busy laboratory filled with loads of patients, I think there's a bit of a lesson in this one for you, too - carefulness. Perhaps a little more thought could have gone into the whole free will thing because some of us down here, and I won't name names (check with Santa on this one) have been making an utter debauchery of things, including you-know-who. 

Third, I don't enjoy drinking or smoking or other visceral pleasures. Does this make me meek or simply lame and boring? If it meekness, then I'd like to say right now, count me out of your inheritance. This place is a disaster here. Do you have any other options? If yes, I'd love to see a brochure on them. 

Finally, have you read anything on quantum physics? Interestingly enough, it started out with the pursuit of the elemental building blocks of the universe (separate elementary particles) and has now evolved (sorry, you might be sensitive to that word) into the notion that the universe is an undivided whole in a perpetual state of dynamic flux. If I read this correctly, this would indicate that you're evolving, too. Is that right? If this is the case, can you choose someone new to channel the sequel to your last book? Preferably, someone with a degree in physics. I think your last book had too many cooks in the kitchen, if you know what I mean? In fact, I think that's why they all think they're right!  The problem is they're all arguing over who got the real "scoop". 

As you can see, the implications that we are not separate parts of a whole but rather the whole is a difficult notion to accept, especially given that some of the undivided parts of the whole, and you know exactly who I mean, insist upon being real dodo heads.

If I understand this whole thing correctly, I'm actually writing this letter to myself. The self that is on a higher plane. Or the self that is across the ocean signing in from New Zealand. So, basically, anyone who reads this is also me, right? In that case, they're probably just about as confused as I am.

All I can say is, get me outta of here! 

Golf - The Lighterside of Overpopulation

There are approximately 160 million people living in Bangledesh, which is about 1/2 the citizenry of the United States. 

To get anywhere in Bangledesh, you have to knee and elbow your way along, with an occasional bow. It's not like the militaristic discipline and aristocratic order of precedence we see in areas of the world where personal liberties, democratic privileges, and "personal space" are considered the norm. 

The Bangledeshian solution to the energy crisis is the rickshaw. A number of rickshaws are beautifully decorated with canvas side curtains and paintings of wild animals, with rides generally costing about three taka (twenty if you're caught in a rickshaw jam). There are no sidewalks and the streets are filled with beggars, merchants, and what one can only believe is a non-existent sewer pit. Needless to say, it's no easy task getting through the streets of Dhaka on foot, which is pretty much considered a lowborn sort of thing to do anyway.

Tourists typically travel in taxi's, as they can afford the gasoline (about 75 cents a gallon), which is the equivalent cost of consuming 31,250 calories of food per day (imagine anyone, much less a Bangledeshian, consuming a box of sugar doughnuts, a half-dozen twelve-ounce steaks, three six-packs of beer, a pizza, an apple pie, a twenty-piece bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, one hundred chocolate chip cookies, a birthday cake, a quart of bourbon, and a Big Mac and fries. 

If you can manage to wiggle your way out of traffic, squeeze between pedals, spokes, and bodies, you can admire the architecture, which is cement in solid pastels, with narrow streets so confusing that you're not sure if you're indoors or out. If you make it to the Bund, the warf road along the Burhi Ganga, one of Bangladesh's waterways and part of the great Brahmaputra river system, you'll spot a few pinpricks of beauty amid the filthy riverbank. A Hindu bride, maybe thirteen, ascends from a water taxi with an entourage of in-laws. Gilt threads twinkle in the scarf draped over her head and shoulders, a few bangles flash at her wrists and a little gold stud winks out above one nostril - a display of whatever wealth her family bestowed upon her. 

"Either nations with burgeoning populations will take steps to limit their numbers, or Malthusian misery - starvation and epidemic will accomplish the same goal," Newsweek. 

Such talk isn't new. In Ancient China, in the days before they counted women, philosopher Han Fei-tzu said that "people are more and wealth is less."  And Plato, in his Laws, stated that the idea number of households in a city state was 5,040, and thought this number could be maintained as long as fathers married off their daughters to people out of town, picked up one son as an heir, and gave up any extras to adoption. 

Still, the population of the world didn't seem to concern us too much until the 1798 publication of An Essay on the Principle of Population by Thomas Robert Malthus. Mathus used the mathematical buzzwords of the Enlightenment, "Population, when unchecked...increases in a geometrical ratio." 

170 years later, Paul R. Ehrlich published The Population Bomb, which announced on its cover: WHILE YOU ARE READING THESE WORDS FOUR PEOPLE WILL HAVE DIED FROM STARVATION. MOST OF THEM CHILDREN. Assuming population growth has remained steady since this 1968 publication, 750 people have died from starvation since you started reading this blog entry. 

It's difficult to see the lighter-side of dwindling resources and starvation. While Bangladesh's minister of health and family welfare purports that the situation isn't as bad as it is projected outside the country, he's probably thinking of his quiet, clean, comfortable garden home where he can enjoy the afternoon shade and sip pink gins away from the filthy bustling city streets, which are essentially empty after dark. 

The only lighter-side I can think of in this whole discussion is that people in Bangladesh sure do love their children, and if you enjoy golf, there's no shortage of caddies, assistant caddies, and assistants to the assistants to hold umbrellas and go get drinks. 

If you're staying at Dhaka's Five star Radisson hotel - which offers guests use of the nearby deluxe army golf course - you probably won't be bothered by the wretched effects of overpopulation, and can instead focus on the beauty of this ardent fertile land with its rivers and streams that carry more water through this tiny nation than flow in all of Europe. Bangladesh is a land of beauty where nature and people have come together to weave a remarkable tapestry of life. From the fragrance of the mango-groves, to the full-blossomed paddy fields, this country's joy and sadness equally stir the mind.

Tell Me A Joke

 

October 2011

Sophy's FUNsational Inner Child Daycare

 

Welcome to Sophy's FUNsational 

Inner Child Daycare Center! 

Life gotcha down? Is your job boring?  Are you resisting a rest?  Do you feel like you haven't had enough fun in your life? Have most of your friends grown-up and moved away? Do you still like to play with others? If you've answered "Yes" to any of these questions, then you're in luck! 

Sophy's FUNsational Inner Child Daycare  

is now Open for business! 

 

At Sophy's FUNsational Inner Child Daycare, you can connect to all your friends on Facebook from our multi-media center.

Are you a workaholic? Do you suffer from boredom and spiritual deprivation? At Sophy's FUNsational Inner Child Daycare we believe that 'no fun' is inner child abuse. So, relax, kick-back, and get ready to spend your day finger-painting, drawing, or making Shrinky Dinks and paper airplanes.

Are you concerned about what your friends will say? Don't worry. You're not having a mid-life crisis, it's just intermission! At Sophy's FUNsational Inner Child Daycare, you'll learn how to examine the first act of your life and prepare for the second one. While some inner children feel a sense of "stage fright" when thinking about their future, here at Sophy's FUNsational Inner Child Daycare, we aim to heal!  

In our Little Me Actor's Circle the main character in your life is YOU! Our professional script writers, inspired by the movie, BiG, will help you craft your own Super-Powered Script to take home and act out! After attending Sophy's FUNsational Inner Child Daycare, you'll once again be the STAR of your own LIFE! 

From bike riding to video games, to nature walks and Scooby Doo marathons, we've got something for everyone. Do you have an inner hypnotherapist clambering to emerge? Imagine spending the afternoon making emotionally intelligent finger puppets!

What about the inner engineer? No worries, you'll feel right at home in our napkin room where you can sketch out your latest inventions! From rockets to space stations or iPad applications, you can draw them all here!

If you're one of those enlightened inner city kids who is working toward Nirvana in your big kid life, then we've got a nice, cozy 'Nothing Center' that is fully-equipped with nothing but blank paper and molding clay. That's right!  No matter what problem you have, in our 'Nothing Center' you can spend the day ignoring it completely. And when you're tired of that, we've got pocket-sized Buddha's available to play with in our "Non-idol worship" circle. 

 

At Sophy's FUNsational Inner City Daycare the choice is yours! Just imagine how refreshed you'll feel after a day inundated with inner child activities and opportunities. Join today and you'll receive a pair of rose-colored glasses absolutely FREE! 

Four out of five metaphysicians recommend Sophy's FUNsational Inner Child Daycare
as the best way to rise above whatever is bringing you down...