A Stick Figure's Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when bright stars shined

Not a circle was rolling, not even a line.

Euclid’s Elements were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Geometry soon would be there

Little Stick Figures were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of angles danced in their heads.

And mamma in her remainder, and I in my sum

Had just settled our selves from a long day of fun.

When out on the lawn there arose a superior system,

I sprang from my bed wanting to be near them.

Away my concentration, goodbye my understanding

Was it really St. Geometry who was in our yard a landing?

A feebler impress through the ear is made,

Than what is by the faithful eye conveyed.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But Old St. Geometry, the one who drew us so clear.

With perplexing repetitions, so lively and quick

I knew in an instant, he was the father of the Stick.

More endless than thinking his excellence remains

Introducing all Stick Figures, whom we know by name.

Straight lines, parallelograms, triangles, and rhombus!

Proportions accordingly inferred to us.

Inversions and antecedents, we know you, too.

Magnitudes together with ratios so true.

“Now Square! Now, Rectangle! Now, Point and Line!

On, Radius! On, Area! On, Extremities of Design!

Let us all be proportional, and similarly situated.

Contained by extremes, yet equally weighted!

From unicity to infinity,

He gave us axes of symmetry.

Each segment, the greater,

Each angle, its maker.

He knew the angle at the center of a circle,

Was double the angle at the circumference of our world,

Who when having the same part of the circumference for its base,

Was the proportion we needed to exist in this place.

His eyes how they circled! His lines how merry!

His feet angled out, his proportions how varied.

His center within was the center of all,

The beauty of equality that helped us stand tall.

The point, how he drew it,

The square, he gave a twist.

The inventor of the straight line,

We could not resist.

His lines drew nearer, his gaze you could not divide.

He constructed shapes merely by eye.

His designs how stately, when seen together,

Create every angle, irrespective their measure.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his line.

And filled empty space with success refined.

Alternate angles, parallel and straight alike,

Concepts even Algebra would like.

He sprang to his book, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all vanished like a ballistic missile.

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he divided from our sight,

“Happy Christmas to all, my greatest design!”

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The 12 Days of Pet-Mas

The 12 Days of Pet-Mas is a playful, pet-oriented, parody of the classic "The Twelve Days of Christmas" English Christmas carol that enumerates a series of increasingly grand gifts given to a new puppy on each of the twelve days of Christmas.

Merry Christmas

and

Happy New Year! 

On Vacation

Twas a few days before Christmas, when all through the house. 

Not a blogger was stirring

 From the office, no one made a sound. 

I with my passport, kids with their iPad2's,

Rushed to pack, where we headed you ask? 

Let's just go with Timbuktu. 

Cell phone chargers, suntan lotion, beach bag stuffed inside,

By this time tomorrow, I'd be lounging poolside. 

Drinks with tiny umbrellas for me, 

and fruit smoothies all around.

I'm starting to wonder why it took me so long to leave town. 

But before I go, there's something I wish to say,
Happy Holidays to you and yours
...and don't forget to play! 

Happy Holidays! 

The Comedic Female Executive

There are obvious similarities between female executives and female comedians. Both work in an aggressive male-dominated environment. 

Despite swimming among the sharks, I, myself, earned a seat on the board of directors for a public Japanese firm. We celebrated by going out for sushi. 

Later that year, I received news that our 3rd quarter earnings were down. I called an emergency session. Together with our marketing department, we posted caution signs, filled the room with emergency siren lights, and strung-up "do not cross tape" at the entrance of the boardroom.  For lunch we served some pretty astonished looking sushi. 

At the end of that year, our earnings rose above our highest grossing quarter by 11%. No wonder both female comedians and executives report having daydreams of fluffy-world domination.

Some good-humored forbearance can tone down uninhibitedly sexist environments. Unfortunately, there are still a number of women, who when in doubt, seduce. 

Yet, there's something about a sparkling repartee, that is far more effective - not to mention instinctive, responsive, and enjoyable as heck. More than being comedians or executives, we're actresses. No wonder Phyllis Diller felt she had to dress in drag to attend a Friars Club roast. 

Cellulite and cellophane only go so far. Today's audience is far more savvy. Neither feline self-derision or macho-feminist ferocity work. The consciousness on the planet has evolved. Female comedians and executives aren't necessarily more advanced than their predecessors, but like in comedy, timing's everything. The decades of male-dominated sketch comedy has about as much appeal as the office of the presidency does for an ambitious young person in America. It lacks the power and influence it once had. With men like Eckhart Tolle inspiring millions of people, men and women, alike, around the globe with statements like: "The past has no power over the present moment," female comedians and executives in this generation no longer need to stoop. 

Auditions for old-school attract many Shakespearean parodic actors (i.e., night-time television) but they won't hold the today's globally-savvy attention for much longer. Offbeat and likable qualities have far more appeal. It's like having a movie star who lives in your building and is first and foremost known as a good neighbor. 

Let's face it, girls hung curtains in a male-dominated clubhouse when we introduced customer service.  

And like you taught us in business school, the customer's always right! 

Holiday Traditions

It's not the gifts and goodies that people look forward to during the holiday's as much as it is the traditions. It would seem that rituals is one of the things that truly unites us as a species. 

Scientists thought that human intelligence had not evolved the capacity to perform group rituals until 40,000 years ago - boy were they wrong (what's new?). 

In 2006, in the remote hills in the Kalahari Desert of Botswana, archaeologists found a 70,000 year old python carved into a rock. According to Sheila Coulson of the University of Oslo, "At night, the firelight gave one the feeling that the snake was actually moving." 

Next to the stone figure, Coulson's team found spearheads that had been brought from hundreds of miles away. According to scientists, the spearheads were burned in some sort of ritual.  Coulson said that the "Stone age people took these colorful spearheads, brought them to the cave, and finished carving them there. Only the red spearheads were burned. It was a ritual destruction of artifacts."  


In the movie, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, the other reindeers laughed at Rudolph's bright red nose. Looks like frustration with the color red is a tradition that goes way back in our history. 

Apparently, our capacity for abstract, symbolic thinking dates back to pre-historic times. In modern times, we go outside, cut down a tree, bring it in the house, decorate it (often times in the name of Jesus), hang our socks over the fireplace, then take all our store-bought Christmas lights and decorations, and put them outside in some sort of ritualistic swap. Nature for nurture, so to speak. 

While some human traditions haven't yielded the greatest returns, others, like holiday gatherings, are events that people eagerly anticipate and celebrate together. Meaningful rituals contribute to our psychological health and emotional well-being. Children raised in families that hold onto holiday rituals tend to feel less anxiety, a greater sense of belonging (to a group), and a stronger sense of identity. 

Posting holiday messages on Facebook is fast becoming a shared holiday ritual between friends. Sharing inspiring messages and stories elevates "friends" to the status of surrogate family, and gives people a sense of belonging to a place and people that they care about. Despite the virtual aspect of Facebook, these interactions bring people together, who might otherwise be spending the holidays alone. 

Whatever your holiday tradition, be it shopping and bonding, trimming the tree, kicking it to the curb after New Year's, or seasonal sing alongs, tradition is a long-standing custom that we've all embraced since ancient times. Every culture has their own rich customs and traditions. 

Holiday traditions serve as a bridge to connect us to our past. They connect older generations to younger ones. They bring people together, build identity, and create a stronger sense of stability. In our quickly changing world, it is nice to whip up a special meal from an old family recipe. Traditions are not merely ritualistic, they are the common thread that binds us no matter what traditions we embrace. 

Raising Funny Kids 4

The value of pets in children's lives is immense. Animals offer so much to their families. They are loyal and accept us as we are. They provide parents with teaching opportunities while serving as loving playmates for our children. They also make us laugh! 

Pets offer unconditional love and a good listening ear. Children often have a secret world where they can share their thoughts and feelings with their pets without worry that they'll ever be betrayed. At Purdue University Center for the Human-Animals Bond, Dr. Alan Beck found that nearly 70% of children confide in their pets. These children gave their animals high scores for listening, reassurance, appreciation, and companionship. 

Most parents want their children to have a healthy sense of self-esteem, which means that we want our children to "feel good" about themselves.  Simple tasks such as feeding a pet, cleaning out a cage, or walking the dog can help a child feel as if they have accomplished something. A job well done, increases their sense of self-worth. Responsibility is the natural outcome of the realization that, in this world, every person is necessary and uniquely important. Helping your child train a pet teaches patience, self-control, and at the deepest level, responsibility for themselves and hopefully for the global community when they grow up. 

Brenda Bryant, a University of California-Davis Applied Behavioral Science Professor, stated that experiences with pets increase competence in children in ways that other learned tasks cannot. In addition to increasing a child's verbal skills, children naturally become more "attuned" to nonverbal communication as well. This comes from the practice of "reading" their pet's body language. This skill gives children an opportunity to also draw the correct conclusions about emotions from human expressions as well. 

Pets are a calming influence for children and adults. Their presence and delightful antics can help bridge the gap between two very different worlds, adulthood and childhood. Before buying a pet, preparation and careful consideration must be given to adding a new family member. Involving children in this preparation demonstrates responsibility at a very basic level. This "stop and think before you act" example, trickles into other purchases of inanimate objects, such as toys. It also places a high importance on the commitment for another living creature. Pets should not be seen as disposable. 

Since new puppies naturally need time to adjust to their new surroundings, teaching a child to maintain quiet voices and move slowly gives us an opportunity to demonstrate how we consider someone else's feelings. By reminding children that their new puppy might be frightened, we exemplify empathy and sensitivity. For the new puppy, a relaxed environment will better allow them to respond positively to their new family and a child's natural enthusiastic overtures. Robert Poresky, Associate Professor of Family Studies and Human Services at Kansas Sate University, found that three- and four-year-olds with pets were better able to understand the feelings of others than children without pets. 

Pets have a profound effect on human physiology. Their presence slows the heart rate, lowers blood pressure, and tempers emotions. There are many studies indicating that a few minutes of cuddling with a pet relieved more stress for children than talking with a parent or friend. A pet's presence reportedly makes unpleasant tasks, such as a finishing dreaded homework assignment, a little more palatable. 

Pets give us permission to be intuitive. In a world where following your "gut feelings" has been largely ignored or dismissed as "pseudoscience," pets teach us patience, and in turn, allow us to model it to our children. Pets convey their needs and feeling in very subtle ways. This basic communication teaches kids and parents, alike, how to communicate in a way that is easy to understand and completely in line with our own intuitive senses. 

If you're considering adding a new addition to your family this holiday season, here's some adorable Christmas puppies to help you along in your decision making process! 

(PS: If you hear something like this in the night, instead of getting frustrated, record it and post it on YouTube! Laughing with your pet (instead of scolding it) strengthens early bonds with your puppy that will last a lifetime!

A big thanks to all the Mama dogs for the beautiful puppies they so graciously share with the world...