A Doggie's Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,

I laid flat on my tummy, on the armrest of the couch.

The children dressed me up like a clown, they didn't seem to care

that all the dogs in the street, would laugh and bark and stare; 

The adults didn't care, they had YouTube in their heads

Thinking I'd be an Internet sensation, before anyone went to bed;

And Mama with her video camera, and I in her lap,

Feeling ridiculous as ever - I decided to take a nap -

When outside the gate, there arose such a clatter,

I sprang to the window to see what was the matter. 

Away to the window I bounced like a flash,

Growling and barking, and ripping off my pink satin sash. 

A Husky was walking down our street, leaving paw prints in the snow,

Who does he think he is? It's time to make my presence known!

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature Chihuahua sporting a sweater with little tiny reindeer,

With a little old lady, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment, these sweaters were somebody's idea of a trick.

To dress up us dogs, like they decorate the tree,

Stuffing our tails into trousers so we can't even pee.

We endure it; we sit up, roll over, and lay down,

In the hopes that they don't walk us all around the town.

Bulldogs, Dachshunds, Yorkies, and mutts,

You should know right now, there's no escaping holiday dress up.

Little humans will dress you in sweaters and hats,

And smile and giggle, and parade you in front of the cat.

The cat doesn't care, he's been dressed up, too,

In fact he looks pretty good, all dressed up in blue.

But he's not happy either, he's actually beside himself,

Cause now little brother dressed him up like one of Santa's elves.

I don't mind, cause they dressed me up really quick,

If I had to be anything, I guess I'm grateful it's Saint Nick.

But just you wait, for my Master I'll leave quite a rose,

Just not the kind you'll want to smell with your nose.

I'll fill up the stockings, when everyone's out of sight,

With a present of my own, in the middle of the night. 

We'll see if they dress me up again, come next December,

For this will be a Christmas, we'll both remember...

*No dogs were humiliated in the making of this post. 

Christmas Cupcakes

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas
(Cupcakes)

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

The aroma of freshly baked cupcakes turned us all into a little mouse.

The children snuck into the kitchen by way of the stairs,

I emerged late from my library thinking no one would be there;

These little stinkers weren’t nestled, all snug in their beds,

With visions of Christmas cupcakes dancing in their heads.

No, no, there were here in the kitchen, in their jammies by Gap,

And were already pouring themselves a cup of milk, though most of it landed on my little one’s lap.

When they saw me, they dropped the tray, which arose such a clatter,

That I reached for my iPhone to record the matter.

Away to the button my thumb flew like a flash,

Clicking record for posterity, I made a mad dash.

The page views we’ll get on YouTube no one yet can know,

But if you were seeing what I’m seeing in this screen below;

You’d be rolling with laughter; in your eye there’d be a tear,

For they’re all wearing cupcake covered jammies with tiny little reindeer.

It’s not even Christmas, yet tonight is so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment what I would do if I were St. Nick.

I’d put down this phone, and enjoy the moments as they came,

Saving the memory for myself, their mother, the one who gave them their names.

Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, COMET! on, CUPID!  on, DONNER and BLITZEN!

Grab ‘Ol St. Nick, and give him this message from us all,

This year we need your spirit of generosity, believers and nonbelievers all!

Whether one believes in Santa Claus or pigs that can fly,

When we’re met with obstacles, all our spirits, these ideals, do rise.

To the top of the roof, past the Hubble Telescope, too,

Joy and generosity toward others ignites our gratitude, too.

That the Maya Calendar was a big giant spoof,

To think that the world would end now, What a Goof!

Can you believe people went spreading that nonsense around,

Posting on Facebook and Tweeting such a cynical sound.

Each generation has something ridiculous to say,

But we can choose the messages we send out and save the day,

From the bundles of unnecessary stress we put on our back,

It's as if instead of hugs and kisses, we preferred a good smack.

If we share nicer stories, let the moments unfold as they may,

How merry we’d be, like each day was Christmas Day.

We’d take time to adorn our presents with ribbons and bows,

And sit on the porch with Grandpa just watchin’ the snow.

We'd take a deeper interest the ones about whom we say we care,

And go to every school game, so when they looked up, we'd be there.

In spirit or in flesh or in hopes or in dreams,

We’re together in this thing we call life, or so it seems.

So this year, take some time, in your heart do find,

Time for others, and yourself, too, if you don’t mind.

For it’s that time of year when we all need a friend,

And family and animals, and of course, CUPCAKES again…

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