Results of My Personality Test

Summary Report 

Your Personal Career Profile Assessment outlines your skills, abilities, interests, strengths, weaknesses, personality characteristics, and suggested career matches for your type.

Your Test Results

Your personality is rather offbeat, imaginative, and entertaining. Your command of prose and philosophical insight combined with your use of satire, parody, and irony, enable you to relate to many people in a seamless, compelling way. 

However, controversy over your present course of inquiry will inevitably arise. What attitude should you take? The full-version of this report offers more insight into choices that you can make overly complex with your mind, however, this FREE version simply offers two suggestions: 

1. Say, "So What" (and then immediately quit worrying about what others think

2. Say, "You're right" (Two of the most beautiful words anyone can hear, which immediately disarms the other speaker, filling them with an innate sense of joy and purpose)

You are not a follower. You lead naturally. You also disrupt the heck out of people's lives with your philosophical inquiries and directed inquisition.

You are very focused, but mostly on yourself. It would be wise to get out more, and no, Whole Foods and Barnes & Noble don't count. 

You are best suited for work that involves other people, so why in the world are you wasting your time in front of a computer screen? You have the unique capacity to help others see within themselves, like what they see, and then agree to share that with the world, so cancel your Facebook account and go make some real friends outside the realm of the Twittersphere. 

You tend to get a little cranky, so be sure to keep plenty of Café au lait close by. Your love of comics would suggest that you're a bit on the immature side, but some might consider you wise for paying this no heed. You are very forgiving of everyone, except yourself, so chill out a bit. 

Listed below are strengths that are typical of people who score like you. Consider occupations that will enable you to capitalize on these strengths. 

Personality Strengths 

Non-judgmental 

(unless you want to make a point, here, you are prone to lecturing people to death)

Opportunistic 

(you don't work at McDonald's in the Drive-thru window)

Stubborn

(that point should be self-evident) 

Self-indulgent 

(back off on the bread & cheese)

Risk taker

(you jumped out of a perfectly good airplane for gosh sakes)

Moderately intelligent

(admitting to anything more would sound arrogant)

Hard worker

(you've spent far too many hours on this blog without hope of remuneration)

Plays nice with others

(unless you think you're not going to win the game)

Shown below are non-strengths that are typical of people who score like you. These are the areas where improvement will benefit your performance. It is best to minimize exposure in areas that might showcase your non-strengths. 

Personality Non-strengths

Tendency to overcommit

(take a few things off your plate and you'll feel much better)
 

Tendency to kick or shove people when confused

(we agree, that person at the airline counter had it coming)
 

Overly sensitive

(quit taking things so personal; people care less about you than you think)
 

Propensity for blindly following dogmas 

(you're a Taurus, perhaps this can't be helped)

 Some Possible Careers

  Your extremely high score on the DOMINANCE scale indicates that you are naturally motivated to have absolute control over your environment and everyone in it. As such, moving to a country where you could eventually become crowned sovereign would be most gratifying and fulfill you more profoundly than any other career choice. In the absence of possessing supreme power, you may consider: 

Oh, Whoops, sorry.  
We actually can't think of any other career where you'd be better suited. 

Conclusion

This Career Assessment Profile has included a lot of helpful information, which you should take some time to process. If you do your best to apply your strengths and address your non-strengths you will fulfill your career and personality potential. Also, given your particular profile, we suggest you read all the historical accounts of Napoleon, Stalin, Anna of Russia, Victoria, and a number of the English monarchs so you'll have a better chance of not losing your head. 

 

 

 

Doomsday and Humor

How to be a Doomsday Prophet in 10 Easy Steps: 

1.  If you're considering a career as a Doomsday Prophet avoid prophesies that include specific dates, just go with the bible verse, "No one knows the day or the hour..." Matthew 2:4:36. 

2. Be sure to be up-to-date with your prophesy techniques and theories. Study what kind of conspiracy has the most targeted recipients and go with that (e.g., status update loops actually create microscopic digital-black holes, which will soon join together and DESTROY THE INTERNET... Act now! Order GURU-NORTON and stop those update terrorists quickly or you may experience a bout of utter stupidity). 

3. Explain that you have received your message from an enlightened state, that you see behind all the media lies, false leads, and subterfuge. Explain in detail how your sacrifice and dedicated search toward enlightenment freed you from all worldly entanglements so while you're not worried about the world ending, those who are slacking off on the spiritual quest better book their flights to India to visit you at your Ashram. 

4. When people doubt that the world is going to end, simply quote Lao Tzu. 

5. Pepper your group discussions with Visual Storytelling words such as: clarity, realism, dynamic, continuity, intuitive... 

6. While not recommended in the presence of followers, it's okay, when hanging out with other gurus, to quietly admit that you're bored out of your empty mind...

7. Keep focused. Your place is the great spiritual-ontological world, don't comment on social problems, economics, politics, or computer programming unless it's metaphysically-inspired economics or divine intervention politics, or computer programming with higher intelligence beings. 

8. Remember, no matter what anyone says, remind them that "everything must change..." 

9. Remember to end all your discussions with a pithy quote: Don't take life too seriously, it isn't permanent. 

 

10. Tweet your way to an exalted Twittersphere high with a plausibly fantastic ending ... 

It takes a mighty computer literate guru to design a Doomsday app!

World Humor

Given that humor is so subjective ("you had to be there" kind of thing), I couldn't possibly hope to achieve my goal of bringing humor to the world without including the world in this effort. Besides, we all have different problems that we enjoy laughing about.

Have you ever received a gift that was more about the person giving it than for you? Laughter's one of those gifts. We revel in laughter when we make others laugh. Jay Snakley, author of Zen and the Art of Stand-Up Comedy, stated in his book that humor is "a public act of sharing," a public service, if you will. So, serving up humor on a global scale is a global public service, which requires global participation. Even though Snakley claims that "funny" can't "be taught," it can still be enjoyed and recognized... and for the record, I'm not entirely certain that humor can't be taught. Drew Carey reportedly taught himself how to be funny out of a joke book and now he's entertaining a whole lot of drunk people in Vegas with his stand-up improvisation act.

My colleagues are wondering what the heck I'm trying to accomplish with all this humor business and whether or not I've gone off the deep end. I guess it is akin to sitting at the edge of life with a giant pool behind you. 

Switching gears as passionately and fervently as I have certainly raises eyebrows, but it doesn't change the fact that humor feels good and everyone on this planet, at some level, wants to feel good, wants to laugh, and wants to share that laughter with others. Just as we have agencies that attend to the well-being of those unfortunate souls who without aide would perish, there should be a call for a world organization that makes jokes readily accessible to the masses. 


If you, too, feel that celebrating the humorous aspects of life is an integral aspect of being or of becoming, don't wait. Enjoy the moment. Have fun - and share it! Whether improvising onstage or in life, it's essential to be in the moment. The moment is where the possibility of humor lives. When we're future-tripping or past-clutching, we are not available to really connect with what's important - namely, a good joke. Allow yourself to notice the funny and scream, "LOL, LOL!" 

Sharing Humor

"I need..." 

So much in life is about getting our own needs met. It's easy to get into this mode, after all, we're with ourselves 24/7. I suppose it makes sense because at the basic level all we have is ourselves. 

But what if we want more people in our lives? There's a concept in theatrical acting that states: "Make your partner look good, and you will look good." This is true onstage as it is in relationships, business, and in life. 

Over the last 20 years, I have been actively engaged business dealings, either serving as a CEO, board member, Chairman of the Board, or senior exec. I realized early on in my career, which started when I was 9 years old (leaf-raking business) that the programs which worked the best were the ones that were all about the customers. It's seems like a no-brainer, but really, it's astonishing how often this point is missed altogether. 


Positive reactions are what make the world go round "smoother". Like Luis Miguel's Suave, I love coasting through life's ups and downs, without changing my trajectory radically, even if the world does. When we are focused on negativity, that's all we encounter in life. It's like we're setting ourselves up for failure. Alternatively, when we're focused on positive outcomes, that's what we find. 

I am focused entirely on humor. I look for it everywhere. It's like the humor bug caught hold of me and I refuse to let it go! The reactions I once suffered that matched negative energetic exchanges are dwindling away to nothing, leaving in their place, instead, an opportunity to tell a joke. Things that normally irritate me are now funnier than ever. Both the people irritating me and my reaction.


I believe we all need to share the positive aspects of life that make the less than positive aspects more bearable, if not funny. I hope to find the perfect path to bring more humor to the world, to the global community. I'd like to hear from you, dear reader, to know what you think is funny, to share with me the funniest jokes and stories you've ever heard so I can in turn share them with the world. I want to make humor readily accessible and while a blog may not be the best venue in which to do it, it's a start. 


Please email your favorite jokes, stories, puns, and silly experiences to me at SophlyLaughing@gmail.com... in the meantime, I'll be spinning in my chair - because it's fun!

Coping and Humor

Sometimes when you don't know what you want to say, you can say it with a joke. Everyone has their own unique coping skills, humor is mine. For this reason, I carry a little joke book with me. Not a joke book I've purchased, but rather a notebook that I've filled with some of my favorite jokes. 

Today, I'm coping. So, I thought I'd share a few of my favorite jokes. I have nearly 1,000 jokes compiled, which I'm categorizing for when I accidentally encounter negativity traveling along life's highways. So, without further ado...

Did you hear about the woman who walked into a bar and asked for a double entendre? 
     The barman gave her one.


Teachers call it cheating; 
     We call it teamwork! 


Nostalgia ain't what it used to be...

Right now, I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time;
     I think I've forgotten this before...


What are three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 
    "Hold my purse" 


Eternity is right now; 
     Buy this book today.

Anyone who believes the competitive spirit in America is dead
     Has never been in a supermarket when the cashier opens another checkout line.


Pick something you can tolerate from this list of side effects, 
     And I'll prescribe something appropriate.

Why should I explain in layman's terms,
     Something that you will never understand?


The receptionist at the urologist office picked up the phone and announced, 
     "Urology. Can you please hold?" 


Tell you what... I'll explain the birds and bees to you, 
     If you explain tweeting to me. 


Life's too short to drink the house wine.


One thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are good drivers. 


The opposite of talking isn't listening.
     The opposite of talking is waiting. 


The plumber fixes a leak in a doctor's house - then bills him for $1,000. 
     "This is ridiculous!" the doctor says. "I don't even bill that much." 
The plumber says, "Neither did I when I was a doctor." 


I carry two books with me everywhere I go - The Bible & Darwin's Origin of Species. 
     I'm trying to figure out if I'm my brother's keeper - or his keeper's brother.


New kindergarten punishment...
115 - I wll nt txt n clss
116 - I wll nt txt n clss
117 - I wll nt txt n class
118 - I wll nt txt n class...


Mom's voice mail: 
     "If you need to be picked up from soccer practice, Press 1"
     "If you are bleeding, Press 2" 
     "If you need me to need money, hang up and call dad"

"For sale," read the ad in our hospital's weekly newsletter, "sleeveless wedding gown, white, size 6, veil included. Worn once, by mistake." 


I graduated at the top of my class, then earned a PhD in philosophy, which hasn't carried much weight with my family. My mom introduces me by saying, "This is my daughter. She's a doctor, but not the kind who helps people." 


A sign in the vegetables department at Whole Foods said: 
     "Take lettuce from top of stack, or heads will roll!" 


Technical support said, "Okay, now log in using the password 123456." 
     "Is that all in caps?" 


I once had a boss tell me, "Don't dress for the job you have; dress for the job you want." 
     I showed up the next day in a Cubs uniform. 


How do you make your computer your best friend? 
     Buy it a bunch of software and get it loaded.

Accidental Humor

I came upon humor by accident. 

You see, I have a secret. I wasn't always this interested in comedy. 

For the most part, I've always had a rather studious bent. My library is peppered with classical literature, biopsychology, and hand surgery, the later having been abandoned when I realized surgical management wasn't my thing (I faint). 


Professionally, I have been working with Fortune Global 500 companies since I was in my early 20s. I have a passion for art and antiquities, and the preservation of our global human heritage. I enjoy working with people from all over the world who share in this interest.

My art books include Salvador Dali, Picasso, Rembrant, and Nettler's Atlas of Human Neuroscience, a beautifully informative book offering a visual basis for understanding anatomy, physiology, and other relationships of great importance in medicine. For light reading I have Ramachandran's Phantoms in the Brain, Deepak Chopra's Quantum Healing, or Rumi. As a philosophy major, I don't go anywhere without my pocket Descartes, Plato, Aristotle, Rousseau, and Spinoza. I re-read Descartes every year for fun!

Admittedly, my reading took on a new dimension when I finally opened my mind to pop culture. Of course, it's Blackwell's "And Philosophy" series, but still, these books are akin to reading a comic books in my mind. My love of spirituality has inclined me toward Carlos Castaneda, Anodea Judith and other writers on spirituality and metaphysics; and I'm beyond fascinated by Quantum physics! I'm probably a bit too familiar with the titans of electromagnetic radiation and the energy of light. 

Growing up in a religious family, I have read every book of the bible and still have many of the books memorized after years of unquestioning obedient study. Books on religious analysis, including many by my favorite critic, Harold Bloom, adorn this section of my library, which by the way, like the rest of my library, has been carefully categorized and stored for safe care and handling. 


I suppose you could say that humor hasn't been a priority in my life. Don't get me wrong, I like Seinfeld and comedians like George Carlin. I like to think I have a sense of humor, even if it's not a well-developed one. 

On December 12th, 2005, I fell. Not the funny slip on a banana peel kinda fall, but a real, painful plummet down some cement stairs trying to help someone evacuate from a fire. In retrospect, there's nothing funnier than finding yourself sprawled out cold on cement steps with a 200 pound man right on top of you! 


Once you've fallen, eventually, you have to find a way back up again. It was during this time of frenzy punctuated by absolute oceans of exhaustion and frustration, that I developed a few principles on humor. 

First off, just laugh. Stuff happens, as they say. Just let it go. While I realize that there's nothing profoundly complex in these statements, the application begs for resilience and flexibility. I remember sitting in the lobby of Mayo Clinic making up stories about the other patients, many who looked like they belonged in the psych ward. This helped me pass the time. During treatment, I found myself trying to alleviate the tension by telling jokes about death and dismemberment. People went from what seemed like profound depression to giggles and laughter in a matter of moments. I was amazed by how easily it was to go from despair to glee. 


Second, share laughter! Laughter is so much funnier when it's shared. I thought it was hilarious that the hospital put our treatment center one room over from the morgue, and I let everyone else know exactly what I thought about it, too! One lady busted her stitches right open, she laughed so hard. 

Finally, get a grip, not everything is about you. Most people are blissfully unaware that they've insulted us, hurt our feelings, or annoyed the heck out of us. Let them stay this way. Ignorance is bliss, right? Again, just let go of this stuff. I once had a hospital orderly mispronounce my name, and I was a bit of a snit about it. She showed me. On the way to radiology, she slammed me into the wall and then said, "Oops, my bad." 

Clearly, I was a wound-up a bit too tight and the universe decided it was time to give me a chill pill. This April, while wallowing over the fact that I couldn't run anymore, after having been a runner for most my life, I decided to sit down and ask myself if it really mattered. 

Sure, I've got a little pooch where my flat belly used to be, but are a few extra pounds really worth all this misery? After all, I'm one of the lucky ones. My having been an athlete is undoubtedly what saved me from being permanently paralyzed. Sure, I've suffered my bouts with pain and gone rounds with pharmacists insisting that I take pain meds, which I promptly flush down the nearest toilet, but none of this is really all that important because I can walk. Heck, I can do more than walk. I can hike and bike and rollerblade. So, in the end, the only thing I've given up is impact sports. No jumping on the trampoline, no running, and no snow skiing. 


Big freaking deal! That's right. So what, as they say.

I don't know why humor struck such a funny cord with me, but it did. No one was forcing me to live with such an inflexible mindset. There was freon running through my veins. No matter how much I learned or accomplished, I still needed to laugh. No matter how bad things got, they could get worse. There's wisdom in knowing this...

Could it be possible that I might just have a smidgent of humor running through my veins?

No good deed goes unpunished...

Gurus and Humor

 

The only thing that keeps you from becoming a guru is you! 

So...you want to be a guru? Well, the first thing you'll have to do is switch from coffee to tea. Both are filled with caffeine, but crushed leaves are much more spiritual than seeds.


Sound reasoning is the cornerstone of being a guru. Common sense is a source of enduring fascination, and has been studied for at least two-and-a-half millennia. Just be sure to refrain from using an expression such as, "We are born equal," as it may carry an implication that we do not remain this way. 

A flair for extemporizing comes in handy and an ability to explain the unexplainable is beneficial when working with others. You can also suggest that your students liberate themselves from paying some of their debts. The negative ones in particular, while they may be asking for it, should be zeroed out and forgiven. This looks particularly good on someone's spiritual bottom line. 

The practical guru diffuses arguments before they have an opportunity to take root in the psyche. Be sure to light plenty of incents, this aromatic biotic material creates a mood for helping people chill out. It also can be used to mask strong odors. You guru's know what I'm talking about!

Limit your predictions. Go for two-out-of-three, otherwise it appears more magical than psychic. Also, limit your diversity. This goes back to the basic concept of keeping it simple. Buddhism, Taoism, Zen, Indian Ayurveda. You're probably well-versed in many wisdom writings, just choose the one you have a matching outfit for and you'll increase the magnitude of your energie and healing powers. 

While magic tricks are always a welcome addition to your guru bag of tricks, use them sparingly or you'll run out of perfectly good spoons. 

Get expert advice before starting a retreat in Iran or South Africa. Some governments consider psychic mentalism against their principles. Witch hunts still take place in some parts of South Africa. Be mindful of your marketing messages!

Affirm the consequent. It's an occupational hazard if you cannot communicate this clearly in your message. Go back to the basics on this one. In an "if...then" construction, the "if" part is the antecedent, and the "then" part is the consequent. It is all right to affirm the antecedent in order to prove the consequent, but not visa versa. 

If I drop an egg, it breaks. I dropped the egg, so it broke. (A perfectly valid argument called the modus ponens). 

If I drop an egg, it breaks. This egg is broken, so I must have dropped it. (This could be a fallacy and jeopardize your credibility as other incidents could have led to the egg being broken, including someone sitting on it, or it having being broken from the chicken that emerged from it.)

Remind your students that you do not believe in just one chicken or one rooster. We are many chickens. Crossing the road to enlightenment is part of the journey. Cluck loudly! 

Simply break the shell, emerge, and summon the necessary energy to produce the intention to cross the space-time road. Watch for oncoming traffic. Chickens who are afraid to cross the road are welcome to fast and prepare themselves through proper incantations. 

There are many opinions about the nature of enlightenment. Keep your message simple. Take a stick and write out your message in the sand, just be sure to clean up after yourself when your done. For giggles, you can forget the START and FINISH labels in your message, as shown below:

Since we're all in a state of perpetual becoming and unbecoming, this serves a dual purpose. Plus, it's pretty fun to watch people run around looking for the exit!