Philosophical Kisses

Philosophical Kisses 

I hope you brought your Chapstick! 

#1: Simplicity Kiss

The Simplicity Kiss is a theoretical virtue. It is sometimes called a Platonic Kiss; other times it is elevated to the status of a 'Principle' and labeled as such (for example, the 'Platonic Principle'). This type of kiss is often times employed in a greeting ...

A one-kiss greeting on the cheek represents the ideal simplicity kiss principle, whereas additional kisses, according to Kant, would be kisses that were "unnecessarily multiplied (non esse multiplicanda)", arguing that this is a "regulative idea of pure reason that underlies scientists' theorizing" about kissing.  

~Critique of Pure Kissing. 

In Newton's Rule I of Kissing: We are to admit no more causes of natural things than such as are both true and sufficient to warrant a kiss. ~

According to Newton, a Simplicity Kiss is "pleased with simplicity, and [needs] not the pomp of superfluous kisses." While Lavoisier, the late 18th Century French Chemist, stated that "it is a principle of logic not to multiply kisses unnecessarily." 

Notably, the Simplicity Kiss considers style and frequency, which represent desirable features of platonic kissing theories. Within philosophy, kissing theories involve allegedly superfluous ontological apparati. Thus prolonged or multiple kisses postulate an extra ontological category for kissing. 

The apparent familiarity of the notion of kissing means that it is often left unanalyzed, while its softness and multiplicity of meanings contributes to the challenge of explaining each conceivable type of kiss. 

A distinction is often made between two fundamentally distinct types of simplicity kisses: syntactic kiss (the number and complexity of kisses), and ontological kisses (the number and implications of the kisses postulated). These two facets of simplicity kissing are often referred to as elegance and parsimony, with an elegant kiss representing the ideal simplicity kiss and parsimonious kiss being the lesser, more reluctant kiss (such as the kiss Eddy Murphy, as a child, was forced to give his 'Aunt Bunny' - the one with the moustache - when she came to visit). 

*Contains explicit language

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#2: French Kiss