Richard Nixon's Resignation Speech

"I regret deeply any injuries that may have been done in the course of the events that led to this decision. I would say only that if some of my judgments were wrong, and some were wrong, they were made in what I believed at the time to be the best interest of the nation." 

ALTERNATIVE APOLOGIES

"Oops! I did it again..."

BONZAI! 

Because the best defense is a good offense. 

MODERN DENIAL DEFENSE

"I didn't post it on my Facebook wall, so obviously it never happened." 

Richard Nixon's FB Profile Photo

PASSIVE DEFENSE

"I'm really sorry. We were on the Honey Fitz at the time." 

THE BORING DEFENSE

"While there were mistakes made in the handling of campaign contributions, we conducted a thorough investigation and found that, regardless of what you might have heard, no campaign contributors or taxpayers suffered any physical injury whatsoever." 

TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM DEFENSE

"Yeah, we did it. So? Wanna take this outside?"

THE "TITANIC" DEFENSE

"Free as a bird"