Day 7 - The Fool Who Could Not Confess or Hole In One

The One Hundred Parable Sutra warns of a fool who committed a heinous crime but could not confess his sins. This fool continued to break precepts, but waited until the end to confess them all. Unlike Rousseau, who attempted to present a self-portrait that was "in every way true to nature," this fool decided that humility and self-deprecation were not necessary, that he could simply unburden his conscience once he was done experiencing every aspect of himself, with all his frailties and prurient desires. 

Contrary to this fool's fear of persecution, are the fools who, in a fundamentally good and honest way, confess each and every misdeed to the point it's exhausting, if not infuriatingly difficult to begrudge them. 

Take the man who goes to the confessional and begins...

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." 

"What is your sin, my son?" the priest asks back.  

"Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible." 


"When did you use this awful language?" asks the priest. 

"I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards." 


"Is that when you swore?" "No Father," says the man. 

"After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away." 


"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Father again. "Well, no," says the man. 

"You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!" 


"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed Priest. "No, not yet," the man replies. 

"As the eagle carried the squirrel away in his claws, it flew toward the green. As it passed over a bit of forest near the green, the squirrel dropped my ball." 


"Did you swear THEN?" asks the now impatient Priest. 

"No, because as the ball fell, it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, rolled through a sand trap onto the green, and fell right into the hole." 

"Holy Shit!" exclaimed the Priest. 


"That's exactly what I said," smiled the man.