This reluctance to publish tells me that I consider blogging different from publishing. Somewhere in my mind lies the sentiment that the written word when not pressed to paper is not written. It would appear that I've held a simliar belief since my youth, having written many letters and reports, but no novel or nonfiction book.
Throughout my professional career, I've written manuals, strategic plans, business plans, marketing plans, public offerings, and the like - but no novel. Since April 2011, I've written letters, blog posts, Facebook posts, and Twitter Tweets; I even wrote two novels as a ghost writer - but no book. I wrote a full-length book for a close friend, published a book of poetry for family, and designed calendars - still no book.
How could I allow myself to sit on a thousand novel ideas and publish not a one? I could have pulled out the remnants of that box and salvage at least three novels - I'm sorry to say that right before starting this blog, I threw away 20+ years worth of poetry (over 1,000 poems) and a number of full-length novels. The reasons for which I did this are my own.
In that writing I tossed away was years of coherency expressed in the midst of extraordinary life circumstances and associations. Some of the attempts were far from developed, many unfinished, raw, and puerile, but here and there, youth inspired passion, fieriness, animation, and enthusiasm came through in my romps through the Mayan jungle and epic Shaman-like poetry.
Alas, they're now gone, but the spell of that light remains. My explorations into human character and personality continue to reside within me, as, perhaps, does some of that naïvety.
the origin of the last name Laughing is a mystery. It is said that it could come from a profession, such as with the name "Taylor" (My tailor is rich). Recognizably, the last name Laughing could have come from a jovial, good-humored spirit - similar to myself - merely bent upon having the last laugh.
So, what of my self-invention? I'd like to think that my originality is represented by cognition, personality, and agreeable character...with a dash of extraordinary modes of consciousness coming into being for good measure. All traits worthy of documentation and dare I say (when the time is right for me) - publication.